Finally, it looks like being online on the move could be a reality. About fucking time. Jesus. I’ve been asking for it for years.
Here it is – the mobile phone watch. Kid you not. Check it out. Massive potential.
I quite like this one:
It does everything, apparently. You can read the spec here.
My only concern is it might be a bit cumbersome, and make landing a bit tricky… Worth it though.
Only snag is, I can’t see pigeon on the languages list:
Sure there’s an ap out there somewhere.
If there isn’t, I’m sure as fuck gonna invent one.
Bring it on.
As some of you may know, it was my birthday this week.
Generally, I’m not a big fan of my birthday and tend to ignore it as much as possible. This year though, Mart persuaded me that a small celebration might be in order, so I went along with it. We had planned on going to Richmond to hang by the river, till we woke up and saw it was absolutely pissing down. I don’t just mean ‘a bit of rain’, I’m talking massive drops large enough to cause serious head injury, and there were lots of them. Never seen so many. Every time I stuck my head out, down they came.
Mart suggested we invite some pals over instead, but the ledge is barely big enough for the two of us, or at least the dry bit is. So we stayed on it. Just the two of us, and watched the rain come down.
Mart did his best with some joke telling and a couple of games of eye-spy, but it was, truth be told, probably the dullest birthday I have had in a long time, which is why making birthday plans is never a good idea. If no plans have been made, it’s just an average day that didn’t go so well. When plans are in place, and scuppered, the day will always feel slightly disappointing.
One event that was vaguely birthday shaped was finding a bag of dry Maccy D chips. Some of them were still warm. Result.
Dalston Del was already giving it a good go by the time we arrived:
Then Mart told him it was my birthday, and he stepped aside. Fair play.
Soon as we’d done them, it started to rain again, so we went back to the ledge and stayed there for the rest of the day.
Got the nod about this the other day. The Big Bird’s Weekender, and this year it was on Richmond Beach. Genius.
Bit of a lost one in the end, which is why it’s taken me till Friday to post it.
Loads of us down there:
Mainly just hung out a lot, and paddled a bit.
Here’s Sally-Ann running off to the river to give it another go:
Not us though. Fuck that. We’d all had enough by then. Water was fucking freezing.
Got chatting to Alan.
Alan’s the heron on the right:
Quite an achievement seeing as Alan doesn’t usually like to talk.
To be honest, Alan never really looks like he’s enjoying himself. Not sure it’s really his thing:
It’s his girlfriend who drags him down there. Literally, apparently. As always though, Miranda is nowhere to be seen.
Got to feel a bit sorry for Alan.
Totally rocking weekend all round. Richmond Beach is the place to be. It’s Ham Common again next time. Not sure if they’ve set a date yet. That said, part of the deal is I keep it quiet. I’m also not sure what the capacity is down there.
Anyway, bring it on. Best weekend in a long time. Beats getting fucked up on ledges any day.
I was out in St James’s Park on Saturday when some dude called Alan comes over.
Apparently he’d heard about my request for suggestions of sporting events for the 2012 Pigeon Olympics, and thought his particular skill might be worth a mention – High Speed Foot Tapping.
He reckons he’s the fastest foot tapper in London:
Think you’re on your own there Alan.
I should also point out that an Olympic event requires more than one entrant in order to qualify as an event.
That said, anyone else out there wants to give it a go, let me know.
Farbeit for me to post two freaks in a row, but seeing as this is the first full working week for anyone out there who works, I thought this might cheer you up.
Make you realise there’s always someone out there worse off than yourself:
Nothing but one big body.
Pigeon Olympics suggestions continue to flood in. Still figuring out what we can do with the parallel bars though other than stand on them? A favourite of mine so far is the ledge sitting event. Find a good ledge, and sit on it for as long as you can. Sweet. Think I might win that one. Cheers for the suggestion, Paul. Will post the short-list soon. It’s raising quite a lot of interest from potential competitors in the pigeon world too. Formation standing keeps cropping up, particularly from a group from Bath who call themselves the Bath Formation Standers. Think I might do well in that one too, although they do say it’s a ‘highly skilled event requiring stamina, precision and intense concentration’. They sent me this as proof:
I’m not convinced.
Moving on. I used to do something every week called Freeeeeak of the Weeeeek where I would post pictures of the freakiest pigeons I could find. Believe me, I found some right fucking howlers. Pigeons, frankly, not fit to be called pigeons.
I’m thinking of starting it again. Seeing as the pigeon seems to be having its day, which is nice, suddenly there are pictures of total and utter mentalists appearing everywhere. I’d like to dedicate this one to RoooRoooo who always loved the weekly freak. RoooRoooo, this one’s for you, pal:
Never laughed so much in my life. Jesus. Where’s its head? Thinking I might invite it to take part in the 100m sprint. Could be a genius.
That was quite possibly the largest weekend I have ever had. Ended up hanging with the Nottingham boys who were meant to be doing a fly-by over the wedding procession. Sadly, they’d all got way too fucked up the night before, and missed the whole thing completely.
Anyway, Mart and Me ended up with Bernie and his pals for the rest of the weekend. Found a large spillage of Proseco in Hyde Park around five, and the rest is history. Woke up on Richmond Green the next day surrounded by a game of fucking cricket. Finally made it back to Soho today via a brief stopover on the Square, and there was Bernie sat on a post. Oh dear. Bernie had it bad:
Check out the vacant stare:
Not sure Bernie’s going to be flying anywhere any time soon. Jesus.
Said he’d lost the rest of them the night before in somewhere called Camden Crawl. Guess that’s that then. I’ll point him towards north tomorrow. Reckon if he tries it today, he’ll probably end up circling Brighton.