Right. So the last few days have been a bit weird.
First off, I quite unexpectedly find me a rather splendid lovely in Richmond over the Christmas break.
This is her.
The name’s Sylvia:
A slightly better photo than the one I posted before. She was in a better mood that day.
Anyway, one minute there we were hopping through the snow scraping our names on pavements. The next, she fucks off. Just disappears. Not a word. Nothing at all, and nowhere to be seen. Ridiculous.
As you know, it’s not often a glossy lady pigeon crosses my path. The last one I can remember was Mary, and that was fucking years ago. I guess they’re all pretty unpredictable at the end of the day. Sylvia mentioned Mercury was in retrograde at least twice. Maybe that was it? Whatever it was, here I am facing another fucking New Year’s Eve on my own. Jesus.
Okay, there’s Mart and Elliot and the possibility of some poetry in Hoxton, but that’s about it. For once, I thought I had me some sweet moist feathers to bury my face in. Oh well.
Next year tho, bring it on. Pigeon Blog is five years old. Jesus. Can you believe it? Five years telling it how it is for the pigeons of London, and I’m gonna celebrate inna big stylee, let me tell you.
For now, it’s a Happy New Year from me.
And Sylvia, wherever you are, this one’s for you: Your loss, loser.
Sorry. Got a bit carried away with a rather special lovely down in Richmond called Sylvia.
Let me tell you, she was really rather lovely, and in every way:
Not only did she let me talk poetry and the works of Brian Patten, she let me smell her tail feathers.
Not bad for a first date.
Bring it on.
Happy New Year!
Jesus. Finally I manage to de-ice the wings and get my arse in gear to do a post. Never seen so much snow. Fucking freezing. To top it all, me and Mart had to spend the entire weekend in Richmond.
We’d gone down there crack of arse on Saturday because Mart said he wanted to see the river for some reason. Error. Soon as it chucked it down around ten, we couldn’t go anywhere. Whole day was a total fucking freezing snow filled write off.
This is me up to my knees in it, literally:
I was kinda stuck like this for a while as it goes. Had to wee on my own feet to break the ice, and I haven’t had to do that for years.
In the space of an hour, the whole world went white. Only thing to do was find the nearest ledge, and stay there, which is exactly what we did soon as I’d unstuck my feet.
Mart did well managing to bag the hot spot:
Fat George though, not impressed:
Then again, he never is.
Flying in snow is a treacherous business at the best of times. Flying in a blizzard is mental. Flakes in the eyes are the worst. A pigeon can be momentarily blinded by a simple flake. Many a mid-air collision has occurred during a heavy snow fall.
Then on Sunday, a right result, and something I reckon only happens in Richmond. A pal to the pigeons rocks up with bread bits for all. Sure I tasted organic in there somewhere too. Only snag is the ‘all’ included practically every other feathered fucker in Richmond, and beyond I reckon:
Carnage. Fun though, and everyone was pretty polite about it all. Another advantage of Richmond.
Some of those less confident could only stand and watch as we all got to stuff our faces:
Your loss, pal.
Most of us pigeons on the other hand couldn’t wait to get right in there:
Never seen Mike run so fast.
So, back in town for Christmas. Not much snow at all around Soho. Nothing but a load of wet, grumpy, cold and hungry pigeons. Maybe Christmas in Richmond would work? Food for thought.
Despite his busy Judo schedule, I managed to grab five with Roy to talk about the exciting release of his new Christmas single. Pisses on any X Factor shite, so go buy it by clicking on this link.
The Dogs of Battersea will be eternally grateful as they tuck into their charity mince pies.
1. What made you want to record a song?
I was inspired to record a song because I had a look at the charts for the first time in years and was shocked to my soul to see no Judo-themed records in the top ten. Literally not one! It really shook me up, and I had no choice but to pick up the guitar and start getting all the stuff in my heart out on to the street.
2. Did writing it get in the way of the Judo?
Writing the song didn’t get in the way of Judo – because writing the song was Judo. Judo is more than just throwing people on the floor – Judo can be jogging, Judo can be talking on the phone, Judo can be having a lie-in in the morning, if done right. And Judo can be song writing. Saying that… lots of songs aren’t Judo – especially if the lyrics go something like… ‘take my hand and you will understand’ – or some nonsense like that. Or anyone singing about DJs and nightclubs – that ain’t Judo.
3. How did you find the time to learn guitar in between Judo practice?
The guitar is easy, in my opinion. It’s not like it’s a greased-up ferret with rabies that does what it wants. The guitar only makes noises that your hands tell it to. What could be simpler than that? Saying that, I did have some trouble playing it in the video for Judo I’m Crying This Christmas because of the time pressure. And someone else had to play it in the studio for the recording of the song too.
4. Why Battersea Dog’s Home?
Why Battersea dogs Home? I know a few people that have ended up there, and they all say what a grim, horrible, god-forbidden place South London is. I just wanted to help out a bit.
5. Are you buying Rexley anything for Christmas?
Rexley got me one of those ‘experience weekend’ voucher type things last year. Well… that’s what he told me it was, but it turned out he had enrolled me in the army to go and fight in Afghanistan. So I’m going to avoid him this Christmas if I can. I’ll sit at the other end of the table. I might just write him a poem… about his dirty flat face or something. I don’t know, we’ll see how it goes.
6. Have you got any New Year resolutions?
For choosing a New Year’s resolution I tend to do the opposite of what Rexley does. But this year he’s vowed to start smoking, and I can’t do the opposite of that because I already don’t smoke. So I haven’t really got any ideas this year. Maybe learn the clarinet.
Cheers, Roy. Nice one.
Here’s to a Christmas Number 1.
Remember my good pal Roy from Dog Judo?
The same Roy I interviewed last Easter…
Me and Roy, last Easter.
Well he’s only gone and done a Christmas single, and it rocks the big one.
In fact, have to confess I actually woke up with it in my head. That’s saying something for a pigeon so completely lacking in any kind of musical sensibility.
Much as I’m generally not a big fan of the dog as a rule, Roy aside of course, all proceeds from the single go to Battersea Dog’s Home which I guess is a good cause, particularly at this time of year.
Judoooo I’m cryyyyying this Chriiiiiiiiisssstmaaaasssssss.
Bring it on.
Good work, Roy.