Clare from Melbourne sent me these pics – some dude called Omega Goodwin made lots of pink pigeons, and stuck them in a tree. Nice touch. Cheers Clare!
Probably caused a bit of confusion amongst the Melbourne pigeon folk though…
Especially the ones who tried to get a leg over.
A fat David Beckham.
I got asked the other day whether pigeons did farts. Truth is, I don’t really know. Ages ago I said they did, and posted a pic of my pal Graham letting one rip – but, frankly, I’m not really sure.
It’s kinda worrying with all this talk about cows and methane and how cow farts might be responsible for global warming, so, I’m thinking, even if we do, I might keep it quiet. Don’t really want to kick start a whole new reason to pigeon bash. Mind you, fuck the cows – turns out Mooses are loads worse and a car would have to drive 13,000 km to do the same ammount of damage to the environment as the methane chucked out by your average Moose. Jesus Christ. Sick.
I tried Googling to see if we do or not and, top out of 165,000, is me saying we do. Just goes to show, never trust a pigeon.
Right – it seems summer has come and gone already – and all in a day.
This weather SUCKS.
This is what I think of the weather:
A great big fat load of feathery arse.
Ok – it looks like we got the whole of summer crammed into one day. One whole day of boiling hot sun. Pigeons everywhere were soaking it up.
Here’s one I met called Gloria:
Apparently she called herself Gloria after Gloria Estefan – some really shit pop star from years ago. Here’s a link to her website – be warned though – there’s a rubbish song she did that auto-plays when you get there. Fucking hate it when websites do that. Throw you a bad tune without you even asking for it. Especially as dealing with the volume control in haste demands a tricky toe to beak manoeuvre that often goes wrong and leads to an accidental closing of the browser. Pain in the arse when that happens, and makes you hate the song even more.
Anyway – Gloria loves a bit of sunshine – as you can see. I told her that too much UV is dangerous and can cause premature ageing of the feathers. She said she didn’t give a flying fuck and would rather be tanned. I told her I didn’t think pigeons tanned? She told me I didn’t now jack shit about a pigeon’s beauty regime and where did I think the white bits came from! Fair play.
Maybe that explains the disappearance of the lovely Mary? She was white all over which means she’d probably just got back from her holidays. So now she’s all grey again – no wonder I can’t find her! Damn shame. As Damian commented – she would have been a perfect partner on The Ark – see post below – not that we need it anymore seeing as the world’s gone hot again – for now.