Loads of you sent me this. Horrific:
Click on this link for the full story.
Turns out the pigeon’s name was Alf and he only got in for the ride, which is probably why he’s looking reasonably comfortable in the pic. In fact, I’d go as far as to say he looks positively excited.
Climbed in on the promise of a ‘view of the park’, apparently. A short-lived promise rudely interrupted by being swallowed, whole. What the fuck?
Turns out Derek, the pelican in question, had been suffering from depression for some time. He thought ‘stay low’, which sadly turned out to be Alf’s last request based on his love of 1940s War Movies, was Alf saying ‘swallow’.
Not good, especially if Derek spreads the word that Alf, bar the feathers, turned out to be the tastiest afternoon snack he’d ever had.
Right – remember Trev? The really small pigeon dude who came down from Up North? Well – he’s gone now. So on his last day Mart decided to take him out and about to “do London”. I couldn’t be arsed so I let him have the cam.
They started off heading to Trafalgar Square…
This is Trev ‘heading to Trafalgar Square’. Nice one Mart. Jesus.
And this is Trev in Trafalgar Square having the piss taken out of him by Elliot and Wayne – think he was called Wayne – might have been John – can’t remember. Trev took it well, apparently.
Pissed myself at this one:
Mart stuck him in the Lion’s gob for a laugh. Told him it’s what you had to do to be a ‘Trafalgar’ pigeon. Hilarious. Mart said he didn’t find it very funny so he took him to Downing Street to see the PM to make up for it:
This is Trev at Downing Street. Mart told him the PM was a bit dangerous so that’s why they kept him behind bars. Trev totally fell for it. Wanted to take him a banana and everything.
Then they went to see The Queen:
Trev asked him why her house was so big so Mart said it was because she had loads of Corgis and they all had their own room. Trev said he didn’t like dogs so he wouldn’t bother going in.
Then they found this:
Trev was right made up and kept saying ‘eee by gum’ apparently – whatever the fuck that means.
How about this for a bunch of boyz – top pic taken by a pal, Damo, on Venice Beach in LA.
Cheers for sending it, Damo!
Check out the pissed off sea dulls on the right swooping in for scraps. Jesus. Didn’t get a look in, apparently. The pigeon dudes just stood there – like this – didn’t move. Dulls fucked off in the end. Top job boyz.
Venice Beach pigeons are clearly hard as nuts. Mind you, isn’t Muscle Beach near there? Maybe that’s it… they’re all well pumped up and way too scary to fuck with – or they’re totally out of it and can’t be arsed… Either way, they rock!
Damo, if you’re out there pal, give ’em the big up from me.
Kurt sent me this. Top pic. Cheers Kurt!
This is how posh birds in Chelsea get it on. None of that “Alright darlin’ fancy a shag?” shit you get up the West End.
They take it slow, apparently, get to know each other first with some ‘gentle petting’…
Fucking waste of time if you ask me.