White Pigeons Getting A Hard Time

What an eventful couple of weeks. Mart and I flew to Hyde Park in the pissing rain after another dead skin-less pigeon was found under a pile of leaves. Looked like it could have been there for a while, apparently. The only means of identifying it was by the shape of its toes. Scary shit.

Of course Mart was off straight away pursuing any clues he came across. Basically a pile of random objects including an empty Fanta can, a tooth pick (that he suggested might be the murder weapon!), and a Snickers wrapper. Oh dear. Then a squirrel told him a gull behaving suspiciously had been spotted going in and out of Big Ben. He said the ‘gull in question’ was always there at midday. Of course there wasn’t any ‘gull in question’ but Mart sat under the bell anyway just in case one turned up, and then went deaf for three days.

“All in the line of duty.” He shouted when he got back. Jesus.

In the meantime, during my own investigations into the serial killer gull, I came across another story that I thought would strike a chord for hundreds of pigeons. Racism against white pigeons because they look a little bit like seagulls. WTF?

I met Nancy. Nancy is a white pigeon who lives on the roof of a laundrette in Pimlico and has spent her whole life working in Hyde Park. She told me that ever since the story went national, she’s been getting the cold shoulder and racist comments from her fellow pigeons.

Okay, so Nancy’s white, but she looks nothing like a seagull. Not even slightly:

It’s got so bad recently that she has to eat in private:

Crazy shit. A beautiful pigeon like Nancy eating alone?

Then I heard it for myself:

“Oi. Whiteeee. Show us your white bits!” The one at the back said. Not on.

Pigeons come in all shapes and sizes and versions of grey. It’s got to stop. White pigeons are nothing like seagulls. They can’t even swim!

I told Nancy I’d see her again next week when I go back. Apparently there’s a seagull who’s willing to talk. Says he’s got some information for me.

Bring it on.

November 14, 2014. Uncategorized.

2 Comments

  1. Jane Grey replied:

    LOVE this blog! “Show us your white bits!” – sheer genius!

  2. Castle replied:

    hey .. I had a weird question to ask.. thing is .. at times I have to physically hold my birds and place them in their shed.. because.. being birds.. they prefer to roam around the house instead of taking a couple of moments rest in the shed.. I was asking if on such an occasion .. I hold the female pigeon and shove her into the nest..
    is there any chance for me to damage the eggs in her belly ?
    And I’m sorry if my comment is just blaring full of technical errors on pigeon.. you see this is just my 6th month with my pigeons.. also out of like the 15 eggs laid by the pigeons.. only one had hatched.. some of them got destroyed physically.. either by the pigeons accidentally pushing them out or by applying too much pressure on them.. but I am concerned about the remaining .. we brought straw for them so as to ensure their eggs are warm and properly taken care of.. but if you can suggest any other method to ensure the safety of the eggs.. it’d be great too..

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