Brighton Fast Becoming One Big Throwaway

There are two major factors influencing the content of this post: The current bin man strike in Brighton, and the resultant angry seagulls.

So, first off, there’s been zero bin emptying down here for three days and already it looks like this:

Throwaway everywhere.

Basically a town-sized free-for-all:

Yesterday I managed a warm pepperoni pizza slice and an egg mayonnaise roll piece washed down with a bit of cappuccino. This morning I found myself several beaks of trifle. Sweet as, literally. It was only Morrison’s, but I couldn’t fault it.

Basically, whatever you fancy, it’s out there, which means it’s going to get busy when the rest of the UK pigeon population find out (like now, for example). Carnage. Apparently the strike is on till Friday so, as you read this, pigeons everywhere will be hitting the skies, and why wouldn’t they? Brighton needs to be prepared though so I’ve already warned the Pigeon Refuge, and anyone out there with space on their ledge or balcony, you may need to share.

However, despite the fact we should be partying right now, be warned. There are the a few other not-so-nice fuckers tucking into the piles that you need to be wary of. The rats have already appeared, armed and dangerous. Then there are the seagulls. The angry big white seagulls claiming their turf. Those great big fuck-off birds that I thought I’d got to know. Not a bit of it. Every single one of them has gone mental. Off their nut after too much sugar thinking they own it all. Considering most of them have just had kids too, over-feeding on top of a lack of sleep is never a good combination for a seagull. Be warned, and be on your guard. A rat carrying a stick is nothing compared to an angry deranged gull.

A couple of final tips: When going into one of the larger piles, hold your breath. The smell isn’t pleasant and NEVER stick your beak into the small black plastic bags tied together at the top. They’ve got dog shit in them.

Apart from all that, enjoy, and don’t forget to drink plenty of water.