Yesterday At The Big Bird’s Club

Finally, it stopped pissing it down, so Mart and me decided to go check out the Big Bird’s Club on Ham Common. See if anything was going down.

The answer: Absolutely nothing at all.

Just a load of security geese and a couple of door ducks hanging about:

Turns out it was a swans only day. ‘Ladeez get in free’, apparently, that’s if any of them had bothered to turn up.

This sad fuck got so desperate he started chasing after anything that moved.

He was the only swan there:

Think he got thrown out not long after I took this. Hardly surprising.

Mart tried giving it large to get us in.

Goes right up to one of the geezers. “Go on, mate. There’s only two of us…”

“I don’t think so, pal. Do you look like a fucking swan?”

So Mart gets his leg in the air:

“I can try…”

I stepped in at that point and told him a leg cock does not a swan make, so he suggested bleaching might help. Jesus.

Big Bird all-bird do this weekend though. Bring it on, providing the weather behaves itself.

September 9, 2011. Uncategorized.


  1. Anastasia the Swan replied:

    This always happens when the event sponsors don’t manage the promotion correctly. Sounds like they need a parrot on their marketing staff.

  2. pigeonblog replied:

    Anastasia the Swan: Or maybe ask the swans what they’d rather see? Perhaps the ladeez getting in free thing isn’t every swans cup of tea and they’d rather an altogether classier event? Water polo would work?
    Your pal

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