Violent Clashes Today In Richmond

There was a dramatic scene today when a row erupted between a rabbit and a blackbird. A breakaway group from Kingston who call themselves ‘The Birds Of Extreme Freedom’ – needless to say, they didn’t want to be identified –  spread the word we’d be joining in with our own ‘wild and angry protest’, in Richmond Park. “Go’loot a few rabbit holes”.

For fuck’s sake.

I went along to cover it only to find literally five blackbirds had rocked up from Syon Park:

They weren’t even that angry and, frankly, just looked a bit confused.

One of them had a go a rabbit hole:

Rabbits just said, “Fuck off. We’re eating.”

Then he only went and hid being a hill. Ridiculous:

That was it. Total waste of time.

Location aside, another reason no-one else turned up was we’re all looking for fucking ledges out of London. As I tweeted this morning, hundreds of pigeons are arriving from all over looking for a safe place to kip.

Bumped into a load from Croydon.

Some were even prepared to risk the spikes:

“Any old ledge will do, so long as it’s not on fire,” one of them said.

Frankly, I’m not a big fan of the Croydon lot, but you’ve got to feel sorry for them. Lost everything, apparently.

So, that’s it. Rest assured there won’t be a singe pigeon involved in any rioting that happens tonight.

None whatsoever.

You have my word on it.

August 9, 2011. Uncategorized.


  1. Megan replied:

    Stay safe, Brian!

  2. Anastasia the Swan replied:

    Brian – Be careful around those blackbirds – not all of them are as addled as they seem.

  3. pigeonblog replied:

    Megan: Cheers!
    Your pal

    Anastasia the Swan: Beware the blackbirds indeed, although this lot clearly had no clue!
    Your pal

  4. Virginia Gal replied:

    Be safe Brian – also I’m glad to see Pigeons are not looting! Standards!

  5. the beak replied:

    they’re jackdaws you drunken twat. Another reason you should not move to Richmond. Get the Fosters Lager Big Book Of Bird Identification for fuck’s sake. No wonder you’re always hanging round with the other species. They’re not pigeons alright? Wnkr.

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