Pigeon Obesity Soars
Despite efforts to educate London pigeons in the art of food management, it seems the number of those now registering as officially obese, some of them morbidly so, has risen dramatically over the past year.
Apparently the problem gets worse the further south you go.
Found these two in Merton.
The first instance I’ve seen where the ‘Don’t Feed The Pigeons’ sign might just be a good idea:
I asked them if they wanted to come down and talk to me. There clearly wasn’t any room up there. To be honest, it was more of a test really, and I was right. They were so fat they couldn’t get down. Unbelievable. Then I asked them what they had for breakfast. They said pizza base. And lunch? Pizza base. I suggested a more varied diet might work? They told me to fuck off.
Anyway, I just got back and looked it up, and no wonder. Jesus. The only takeaways in Merton are pizza joints. Literally.
When I Googled ‘takeaways in Merton’, all I got was this:
Nothing but pizzas, unless Google has me tagged as a pizza fan, which is impossible. Last time I found a pizza all I got was a cold piece of pineapple I wasn’t expecting. Consequently, I’ve never searched for pizzas. Not online, not anywhere, not ever.
So there you have it. Stop feeding pigeons the seed, and all they get is pizza.
Food for thought.