Harry The Hat Gets In Touch
Remember I went down to Peckham for Valentine’s Day and I met a pigeon called Harry The Hat? He only got in touch yesterday asking for my help. Jesus. Nearly shat myself.
Course he didn’t come himself. He sent a pigeon called Mr Pink.
This is Mr Pink, who wanted to remain anonymous for obvious reasons:
Aside from the toes that didn’t look any pinker than mine, I’m not sure why he was called Mr Pink, but there ya go. I’m guessing Harry The Hat doesn’t wear hats either. I could be wrong.
Anyway, it turns out that Peckham, as I suspected, is a haven for flyaways. Flyaways are pigeons who have either flown the nest too soon, or been thrown out due to anti-social behavior. As a consequence, most of them arrive with very poor flying skills. For some reason, Harry The Hat thinks I can help. Not sure why.
There is one school of thought that says never do business with gangsters because it always goes horribly wrong. There’s another that says do, because if you don’t, it goes wrong anyway. Mr Pink said Harry The Hat would be ‘most pleased’ if I could help, which I read as ‘not at all pleased’ if I can’t.
So I’m going to hunt down a pigeon called Knobby later today. Knobby, or ‘The Knobster’ as he’s known, used to work for Harry back in the day.
In the meantime I’d better brush up on some flying theory, and fast.