Update on Phil
Just been reading back through a load of old posts. Fat Jesus, I’m obsessed with the weather. Embarrassingly so. On and on I wang about too much rain or not enough sun or the wrong shaped wind. I swear, from now on, unless the weather really is doing something out of the ordinary like chucking hail stones the size of chihuahuas, I won’t mention it. At the very least, I’ll mention it less, apart from today which seems to be showing signs of the remnants of summer. Bring it on.
So – to yesterday. After a morning spent hanging out on The Square taking in the tourists, literally, me and Mart decided to wing it to EC1 to see how our pal Phil was getting on – see post below.
Will and Kathleen saw us coming, and rushed to tell us that Phil had invited Sheila, his estranged partner, to join him for a little light conversation. He said he’d been feeling a lot more positive of late thanks to his chats with Will, and was ready to hear Sheila’s side of the story. Sheila, impressed by Phil’s eagerness to ‘sort himself out’, had flown over straight away.
This is what we saw. Oh dear:
Not a lot of communication going on there. The least Phil could have done was scrub himself up a bit. Surely, making an effort with one’s physical appearance is a fundamental given? This was the scene for quite some time with Sheila showing no interest whatsoever.
Then it all went horribly wrong. Phil, quite out of the blue, decided the time was ripe to go in for a nibble:
Error. Sheila recoiled looking shocked and, frankly, a little scared. I would be too if I had that coming at me in the face.
Then, to make matters a whole load worse, he just stared at her chest for ages:
Didn’t say a word, just stared at it with his beak open. Think I even saw a bit of dribble. Unsurprisingly, Sheila decided to call it a day and left.
Phil clearly has a few lessons to learn in the art of making up. Over to you, Will and Kathleen. Don’t envy your job one bit.