Marital Guidance Center

Remember Will & Kathleen? The pigeon couple suffering from serious marital discourse? The ones who managed to sort themselves out in the end, and in quite a big way..?

I popped over to visit them yesterday to see how things were going. Rather well, as it turns out. Since overcoming the turbulent times of last year, something they seem to think I’m partially responsible for, which is nice, they decided to help other pigeons with similar relationship ‘issues’.

I asked them if they needed any qualifications at all? They seemed to think not.

“You just need to listen really, and nod quite a lot”, said Kathleen.

Anyway, whatever they do, it’s clearly working, or at least the pigeons rocking up on almost a daily basis seemed to think so. Pigeons like Phil.

This is Phil:

Phil has been having relationship ‘issues’ for quite some time. His partner, Sheila, recently suggested they consider a trial separation. Even though he knew it was for the best, this devastated Phil, and he decided to head to Will and Kathleen’s retreat for some advice.

“I just needed time to get my head together. Figure stuff out. Sheila and me, we weren’t really talking any more, not really, and when we did, we might as well have been speaking a different bleedin’ language,” he said.

Will told me that the whole lack of communication thing was a familiar story. I asked him what his approach would be in this particular case. He said he’d probably leave Phil for a day or two. Give him some time to think, and then try to help him see and understand the positive sides of Sheila, as well as accept the negatives.

Not really sure about that myself. Far as I’m concerned, a negative’s a negative no matter how you dress it up, and negatives tend not to be neither pleasant nor, generally speaking, gentle on the ear!

However, Will said, “We all have sides of us we’re not proud of. The art is in understanding them.”

Food for thought.

Anyway, Will & Kathleen ended up asking me if I’d like to volunteer and maybe share some of the listening?

I told them I’d rather suck on my own arse feathers than listen to a bunch of moany pigeons wanging on about their personal life. Helping Will and Kathleen out last year was one thing, doing it over and over again for every other fucker was quite another.

That said, fair play to Will & Kathleen.

Well done, guys.

I’ll be popping back in the next few days to check on Phil’s progress.

August 13, 2009. Uncategorized.


  1. Pigeon Rachel replied:

    Think about it Bri. All those lovely young girls coming to you for advice about dumping their partners? I might give that line of work some thought. Working with a target audience.

  2. Bicoid Babe replied:

    Yeah, maybe you can help Geoff (the white-headed and rumped stalker pigeon) reconcile with his all-black pigeon mate as soon as we find him/her, too. I saw him again today and he didn’t quite seem himself since his mate left.

  3. pigeonblog replied:

    Pigeon Rachel: Like your thinking. Coming at me all vulnerable and needy!
    Your pal

    Bicoid Bade: They never are. Shall keep my eyes peeled.
    Your pal

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