Parrots v Pigeons

Ok – so I’m on the mail list for the New York Bird Club. Their newsletter usually consists a load of info about pigeons stuck in letter boxes and the like. However, the mail I got yesterday made a claim worth investigating. It said us pigeons were ‘close avian relatives’ of the parrot. What the fuck? We’re nothing like parrots, apart from anything else, no parrot has ever had a single idea or thought of their own. Just spout everyone else’s the whole time, and then pretend no-one has said it before. Generally speaking, most parrots are wankers.

Anyway, I thought I’d go seek out a couple in London Zoo to see what they thought. Took Mart along for the ride, and also coz he’s not seen Larry for a while.

First up, we met this freak:

Just sat there like that staring at us. Didn’t move.

Then we met this one:

Who appears to be eating a tree.

Then this:

Fat Jesus.

Turns out they’re all barking. Totally fucking bonkers. Mad as a bag of frogs. Couldn’t get a word of sense out of any of them. Obviously, I’m not suggesting they’re a fair representation of the parrot community seeing as they’re stuck behind bars, but we did get to thinking that maybe the bars were there for a reason.

Tell you what tho, if we were blue and had massive beaks with cute little yellow trims, I bet the free seed would have been flowing. The parrots have clearly gone wrong somewhere.

This is the stuff we have in common, apparently:

“They share such traits such as mating for life, producing a crop milk to feed their young, having a fleshy skin covering their nostrils and producing a powdery down in their feathers and bonding easily with humans.”

First off, mating for life is a no-brainer for any half decent bird, and as for the bonding with humans, I’m really not so sure about that one. Ok, we used to ‘bond’ back in the day, but not any more. I can’t remember the last time a human looked me in the eye, or a dog for that matter.

In conclusion – we’re nothing like the parrot. Not even slightly. In fact, I’d go as far as to say we’ve got more in common with a flamingo than we have a parrot. At least flamingos know how to tell a half decent joke.

October 4, 2008. Uncategorized.

7 Comments

  1. Piccolo Pigeon replied:

    I mate for life quite frequently.
    If you ever get caught up in a freak Trans-Atlantic storm, look me up!
    Piccolo

  2. pigeonblog replied:

    Piccolo Pigeon: Will do. Cheers. Let me know if you’re ever in London too. Love to show you the sights.
    Your pal
    Bri P

  3. Patty replied:

    Clearly, parrots aren’t very smart, even behind bars, however Australian Lorikeets might have some sense..

    Here are two at a zoo I visited this summer, trying to peek down my blouse:

  4. Patty replied:

    Sorry, me again, I guess it would help if I included the link to the photo:

  5. Patty replied:

    Also, here at two lorikeets that are scaring the fuck out of my cousin. Cheers!

  6. pigeonblog replied:

    Patty: Cheers for the pics. Jesus. I hope they were severly reprimanded, the dirty birds.
    Your pal
    Bri P

  7. Bobquat replied:

    But parrots are one of the smartest types of animals in the world…

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Trackback URI

%d bloggers like this: