Possible House Move…
Had a mental dream last night. Dreamt I was massive. I don’t just mean a bit fat like in the pics below, I mean totally fucking giant sized. I was flying over London with my huge pigeon carcass casting a shadow as big as nightime across the whole of Westminster. Must have been something I ate.
Anyway, got me thinking. Maybe living in the West End is starting to stress me out a bit, what with my new-found minor celebrity status and all the unwanted attention. Mart suggested a move to California might be in order? I know I considered it before and decided against it due largely to the jet lag but, Jesus, check this out:
A total luxury pad for the up and coming pigeon complete with open plan living area and wooden floors throughout. Bring it on.
Only snag is, it comes with the bloke in the picture. A ‘returning pigeon fancier’ apparently. This, of course, sheds a whole new light on the matter. He was once a ‘novice fancier’ but ‘gave it up’. Got caught more like.
Saying that, it is a well nice pad, and all I’d have to do is draw him a wide berth and keep my arse out of sight…
Frankly though, California’s not really for me. I’d probably get sick of all the hot dogs, the sweeping boulevards and the sun setting over the ocean. Know what I mean? Give me rainy old cold like a fridge door London anyday.
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