Mobbed On Leicester Square
Now this is weird – went down to Leicester Square today for a spot of lunch when suddenly, out of the blue, every other fucker wanted to be my friend.
It was total mayhem:
Coming at me from all directions they were. Wanting to touch me in all sorts of out-of-bound places. One even asked me to marry him. Freak. Another had travelled all the way from Estonia. He reckons I’m even bigger in the Baltics. Jesus.
It seems the word has spread amongst the pigeon world about the Time Out piece. I didn’t think it would seeing as there are hardly any who use the internet on a regular basis. Apparently, one of them caught the print version in article form whilst fashioning it into a pillow
Scary stuff. A frenzied mess off pigeons jumping me from every angle.
I had to throw them a crusty corner in the end just to keep them at bay:
Mart attempted to adopt the guise of a bodyguard, only to be trodden on by the knob with the fat head, which was when we decided to fly for it.
Totally mental. Hopefully it will all calm down a bit. In the meantime, I’m gonna be giving Leicester Square a very wide berth!