Brian Pigeon’s Guide to London!

Right – decided to give Pigeon Blog a bit of purpose.

Met some dude called Brummy Pete:

This is Brummy Pete looking all lost and shitting himself in Trafalgar Square.

Brummy Pete flew all the way down from Birmingham for a day trip in the Smoke, no fucking clue where to go or what to do.

Got me thinking – with all the long haul flyers everywhere these days, more and more pigeons are heading to London. Day trips, mini-breaks, sabbaticals, they’re all at it – then, when they get here, there’s no info anywhere telling them where to go or what to do – best places to hang out, make pals, get some kip, pick up the ladies, tuck into a fine throwaway, get pissed, play ‘Shit or Miss’ etc.

So, I’m gonna do it – ‘Brian Pigeon’s Guide to London’.

By a pigeon for the pigeon. Everything a pigeon needs to know when travelling to London.

For starters, how about Best Places To Make New Pals. Obviously Trafalgar Square rocks, but you’ve got to be brave. Can be a bit daunting for an out-of-towner like Brummy Pete.

Best thing to do is come on a Thursday. Thursdays are good. Thursdays are flying practice with Wing Commander P.R. Geon. There are beginners lessons and everything. Not so good for pulling though coz everyone’s a bit focussed.

Took this last Thursday. This is a bunch of dudes learning to fly in formation:

And this is Norma putting in a bit of landing practice. Norma’s from Teddington. She rocks up every Thursday trying to get to grips with the parallel feet manoeuvre:

Tricky stuff. That’s Wing Commander P.R. Geon bottom right, running for cover.

Top day out. Right laugh too.

Anyone else out there got ideas for great places to hang out, eat, shit, or whatever for a pigeon new to London, email them to me – brianpigeon AT gmail DOT com.

June 14, 2007. Brian Pigeon's Guide to London, Uncategorized.

12 Comments

  1. Becci replied:

    Hi Brian. I’ve only been to London once but I have a question. What do you guys think of all those crows hanging around the Tower of London?

  2. siany replied:

    I’ve always wondered if pigeon’s have regional accents??? is a coo different in birmingham? do some pigeons have a west coun’ry slant?

  3. pigeonblog replied:

    Becci: Tbh, they’re ravens and they’ve been there forever. Only managed to hang on after they spread a piece of shit rumour that if anyone got rid of them ‘England would fall’. Clever move.
    Your pal
    Bri P

    siany: Absolutely. Brummy’s ok, bit like Yorkshire or Manchester. Pretty easy to get my brain around, unlike Glasgow, which isn’t at all. Jesus. Don’t understand anything up there! Cooch ciich caach. Eh?
    Your pal
    Brian P

  4. Suzanne replied:

    Tigeon was wondering lately “What happened to Mr. Bean??”

  5. pigeonblog replied:

    Saint Suz!: Good to hear from you! Not sure where Mr. Bean ended up tbh… Send multo flaps to Tig!
    Your pal
    Bri

  6. Suzanne replied:

    Thanks Bri! Tigeon has a new friend in the house. We thought it was a girl (I did) but they are two boys… They tolerate each other but not much… I wish I could find a feral girl…😉

    Suz.
    I miss Mr. Bean !

  7. pigeonblog replied:

    Suzanne: Me too!
    Your pal Bri

  8. Suzanne replied:

    Brian! Rowan Atkinson is coming to Montréal!😀
    I will give you some more news very soon!!! Tigeon is so excited, he is a fan like me. We can’t wait to see Mr. Beans’ vacation!!!

    Suz.

  9. astounded replied:

    You sir.. are a genius.

  10. pigeonblog replied:

    astounded: Why thank you.
    Your pal
    Bri P

  11. Ed replied:

    Absolutely brilliant stuff! My fellow pigeons here in Wellington, New Zealand have all subscribed to your site. The wretched City Council here is planning to shoot us while we sleep at night (http://www.stuff.co.nz/dominionpost/4703941a27348.html) so we are all busy getting our holiday visas sorted for England. Here is a letter that I saw a human scrawl up for the pigeon editorial in our defense.

    “How insecure does one have to be in one’s job to choose a battle with helpless pigeons while they rest at night? Alison Box and her team at the WCC appear to be the only ones with an answer to this question. I wonder perchance if I can help boost their egos twice as much with the suggestion that they instead take to Civic Square passers-by with their guns. Out of my love for this city and its inhabitants – feathered and otherwise, I for one shall ABSOLUTELY and POSITIVELY donate my body for their childishly trivial shooting-game. After all, these poor birds have had nothing to do with the fact that the affairs of my beloved City are run by callous idiots. I on the other hand must accept my responsibility for this tragic, political blunder and will graciously accept the penalty of death by Box’s $15,000 firing squad.”

  12. pigeonblog replied:

    Ed: Good stuff, that’s the subscribing obv, not the shooting. Shooting while you sleep, that’s seriously fucked up especially seeing as it will be dark most of the time and therefore more likely to injure than anything else. Bastards. Let me know what happens.
    Your pal
    Bri P

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