Shit or Miss For The Tourists

Today, because it was Saturday, and it was hot, Me and Mart decided to cruise down Oxford Street.

Came across these dudes. Flew all the way in from Walthamstow. Decided to pitch up for a spot of ‘Shit or Miss’, but on tourists. Picked the best spot for it I reckon. Millions of them knocking about this time of year.

Couple of them kept lookout:

Not sure what they were looking out for – guess it just added to the drama.

This lot were perched down below picking out the targets:

Then one of them, think his name was Pat, spotted this:

Fucking perfect. A bloke with a bald patch.

So Pat goes, “Oi, geezers – check it out bottom right… bet you can’t land one on that!”

“Fuck off, mate, piece of piss!”

Then, just when they were about to drop one, the bloke looks up. Fucking funny.

Probably felt the stare of the pigeon.

So they turned round and pretended they were just ‘having a chat’:

“Lovely weather we’re having for the time of year.”

“Rather. Dum de dum.”

Then one of the lookout dudes flies down:

And only goes and lands one on some Chinese bloke. Fucking great shot. Right in the middle of the head. He didn’t even look up. Walked off down Regent Street covered in pigon shit. Probably still is.

Told Mart we’d play it tomorrow if the weather was nice.

June 9, 2007. Uncategorized.


  1. RoooRoooo replied:

    Hey Brian, entertaining story! Shit or miss on tourists – a great way to spend an afternoon, what! I’ve heard seagulls play that, too. Must be a scary big packet they send down…
    And hey, good to see the heat beer didn’t cause too many intestinal troubles!

  2. pigeonblog replied:

    RoooRoooo: Seagulls ‘Shit or Miss’ is a scary old game I tell you. Huge turds flying through the air. So big they knocked a kid out once down in Brighton!
    Your pal Bri

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