Frank And The Ostrich
This is what happened after we had lunch with Larry – see post below.
Frank was all up for doing another ‘Frank Report‘, so we sent him into the Ostrich cage. The biggest fuck off bird on the planet – and Frank was up for it. Bring it on.
This is Frank with the Ostrich, quietly shitting himself with us lot going: “Ostrich, Ostrich, show us your arse.”
Frank: “Hi (clears throat), my name is Frank, and I’m a pigeon… I’d like to ask you a few questions about what it’s like to be an Ostrich…”
Nothing. Totally ignored.
Jesus, Frank, not a good opener.
Nigel and Miranda went in for a bit of moral support, till the Ostrich turned round and went:
“Look, you patronising little cunt, I’m not an Ostrich, I’m a Common Rhea. But, let me tell you, there’s nothing ‘common’ about me. Nothing at all. I’m unique. A one off. The whole ‘common’ thing, it’s all made up. Get it?”
Then it just stomped off!
Frank: “And this is Frank reporting on the…”
“…err… should I say not so ‘common’ Rhea… (clears throat)”
Big up for Frank. Fair play.