Frank And The Ostrich

This is what happened after we had lunch with Larry – see post below.

Frank was all up for doing another ‘Frank Report‘, so we sent him into the Ostrich cage. The biggest fuck off bird on the planet – and Frank was up for it. Bring it on.

This is Frank with the Ostrich, quietly shitting himself with us lot going: “Ostrich, Ostrich, show us your arse.”

Frank: “Hi (clears throat), my name is Frank, and I’m a pigeon… I’d like to ask you a few questions about what it’s like to be an Ostrich…”

Nothing. Totally ignored.

Jesus, Frank, not a good opener.

Nigel and Miranda went in for a bit of moral support, till the Ostrich turned round and went:

“Look, you patronising little cunt, I’m not an Ostrich, I’m a Common Rhea. But, let me tell you, there’s nothing ‘common’ about me. Nothing at all. I’m unique. A one off. The whole ‘common’ thing, it’s all made up. Get it?”

Then it just stomped off!

Frank: “And this is Frank reporting on the…”

“…err… should I say not so ‘common’ Rhea… (clears throat)”

Big up for Frank. Fair play.

April 4, 2007. Uncategorized.


  1. Pidge replied:

    Whew! Poor Frank! The common rhea needs to work on his manners. Thanks for being so supportive of him (Frank) Bri, he’s a quirky little newscaster in the making!

  2. pigeonblog replied:

    Pidge: He tries his best. Bless him!
    Your pal Bri P

  3. RoooRoooo replied:

    What I liked best, is your singing “Ostrich, Ostrich, show us your arse” while poor Frank is making a silly ass our of himself – that was brilliant!!
    Ostrich or common rhea though – I hear they are all the same when it comes to manners. Must be linked to that neck of theirs, when you look like that you might get a bit bitter with time…

  4. pigeonblog replied:

    RoooRoooo: There’s always hoping! Mind you, I hear Ostrichs are loads worse… and as for Giraffs!
    Your pal Bri P

  5. Sopwith-Camel replied:

    Well, when you send him in to interview the Ducks, remind him not to start talking about how his favourite Marx Brothers film is Duck Soup; he might not get away so easily.

  6. Mary replied:

    Gosh, what atrocious manners that Common Rhea had! Very funny though, all the same.

    I hope Frank wasn’t disheartened by the whole affair.

    Love Mary

  7. pigeonblog replied:

    Sopwith-Camel: According to Frank he preferred Day At The Races – makes me think he might be better off with horses?
    Your pal
    Bri P

    Mary: He’s cool, and practising hard for his next piece! Thinking lions might be good!
    Your pal Bri

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