Nigel And Ralph’s Shame Up

This is something I do now I know pigeons don’t have cocks – fucking funny. Ask a pal if he knows where his is.

This is what happened when I asked Nigel and Ralph the other day.

Me (shouts): “Ere’, boys! Nige, Ralph – wonder if you can help me out? Any idea where your cock is? Can’t seem to find mine anywhere.”

Nigel (under his breath): “Ralph, mate – any idea where your cock is?”

Ralph (shrugs): “This is a bit embarassing, but not sure that I do. Have a quick look.”

Nigel (muffled): “I’m pretty sure it’s under here… think that’s where it is…”

Ralph: “Try the left one, mate. The left one…”

Nigel (muffled): “Left wing – left wing – ok, I’m under the left – must be round here somewhere…”

Ralph (muffled): “How about in the middle… Jesus. Where the fuck’s it gone?”

Me (shouts): “Any luck there, fellas?”

Ralph (shouts): “Er, not quite Bri…”

Nigel (muffled): “Right wing, right wing… under here… that was it…. Fuck!”

They checked everywhere. I had to hide behind a bush. Nearly pissed myself.

In the end, they just flew off. Didn’t say a word, just flew off!

March 16, 2007. Uncategorized.


  1. Sopwith-Camel replied:

    Vaguely relevant, and probably giving my age away, but here’s my best Bruce-and-Sheila joke

    Bruce: I fancy a fuck

    Sheila: I can’t, it’s that time of the month

    Bruce: (cracks open can) What the fuck dja mean?

    Sheile: I mean, you moron, I can’t, I’m bleeding.

    Bruce: Bleeding? What the fuck dja mean?

    Sheile: Oh you Dickhead, (lifts skirt), see for yourself.

    Bruce: (pause) Christ mate, no wonder you’re bleeding, someone’s cut your cock off!

  2. pigeonblog replied:

    Sopwith-Camel: Love it! Cheers!
    Your pal Brian P

  3. Blogjammin’ | Londonist replied:

    […] It’s difficult being a pigeon. […]

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