Year Of The Pig – Yeah Right

Ok – so the Chinese tell us this year is the Year of The Pig. Why? Did pigs do something special recently we don’t know about? Is that how it works? If it is, then pigs must have done something special in 1923, 1935, 1947, 1959, 1971, 1983 and 1995.

Did they help invent the self winding watch in 1923? I don’t think so.

How about the first canned beer in 1935? Not fucking likely considering pigs are T-total.

Or what about the Tupperware seal in 1947?

1959 – was it pigs that put together the first microchip?

What the fuck did they do that was great in 1971? Come up with the VCR?

1983? The Apple Lisa…? Really don’t think Steve Jobs would have spent hours round the boardroom table with a bunch of pigs.

So that just leaves us with 1995. I know – the DVD! Not.

Load of old bollocks. I bet the pig never invented anything, apart from possibly the art of snorting shit through the left nostril.

Then, not only do the Chinese clearly reckon pigs did loads of great things, they also say if you’re born in a pig year, you’re ‘highly regarded for your chivalry and pureness of heart, and you often make friends for life’. All a pig does is lie about in shit all day grunting at its fellow pigs, hardly the sign of someone trying to make ‘a friend for life’. Jesus.

I should get in touch with whoever makes these decisions and suggest a ‘Year of The Pigeon’. What do you reckon? Loads more deserving. Okay so we didn’t invent the DVD but, then again, neither did the pigs.

How about 2006 – the Year of the Pigeon. Why? Because a London pigeon called Brian got off his feathery arse, learned how to type, and set up a blog. If that’s not deserving of getting a year, I don’t know what is.

February 21, 2007. Uncategorized.

7 Comments

  1. Ali replied:

    I am being sorry to tell of you pal Brian, but piggies like some beer!

    Looking here!

    http://www.abc.net.au/worldtoday/content/2006/s1697387.htm

  2. pigeonblog replied:

    Ali: Good to hear from you, Pal. I perch corrected. Cheers! Scary shit tho. Then again, maybe they invented the tinnie afterall? Maybe they realised tins were just a whole lot easier to manage in the snout than pint glasses?
    Your pal Bri

  3. Marit replied:

    You silly, it is the year of the pigeon. The people who came up with it just thought up an affectionate short name for them, like ‘pidge’, only they spelled it ‘pig’. Lost in translation…….pity.

    I have a dove that worked on the Apple Lisa…….he turns 25 this year. Small beak is good for assembling motherboards.

  4. mumsie replied:

    http://english.cri.cn/2906/2007/02/27/65@199803.htm

  5. pigeonblog replied:

    Marit: Of course! Year of the pi-d-g. As for the motherboard building Dove – good work. Did he have anything to do with the iPod?
    Your pal Bri P

    Mumsie: That is totally the scariest link ever. Cheers for sending it. Not only do we not get a year, the Chinese want to turn us into robots. Jesus. I reckon it was pigs who came up with it. Maybe they invented the microchip afterall?
    Your pal Bri P

  6. Chinese Diss the Pigeon – Again « Pigeon Blog replied:

    […] it’s coz I said they love the pig and openly disagreed with the idea of sticking  a ‘microelectrode stimulation device’ […]

  7. Chinese New Year – The Pigeon Overlooked Again | Pigeon Blog replied:

    […] started looking into our exclusion in 2007 when I discovered it was the year of the pig. You can read what I thought about it here. Safe to say, I wasn’t […]

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