“So, where is a pigeon’s cock?”

Someone asked me the other day, “Where is a pigeon’s cock?” Scarily, my reply had to be, “I’ve no fucking idea.” Sad but true. I really had no clue whatsoever. Jesus. I knew there had to be something going on coz when you shag, it’s quite nice. Truth is tho, I’ve no idea what.

Whatever it is, it’s underneath and, having never stood over a mirror to have a look, I’ve never seen it. Neither have I ever asked anyone else to have a butchers – obviously – that would be weird. All that ‘being hung like a…’ has passed us pigeons by. Damn shame. All we know is baby pigeons happen, and piss has got to come out of somewhere…

Decided to spend the weekend trying to find out by asking some mates. Pretty soon though, after one too many: “Excuse me, would you mind showing me your cock?”, I started to feel a little too much like Jonathan King.

Soon realised the internet was a far safer bet – but what I found out was shocking – fucking totally – so much so I’m probably going to keep it quiet. We pigeons don’t have cocks at all – we’ve got holes, just like lady pigeons. Nightmare – called a CLOACA. No thrusting member – our passport to pigeonhood is a fucking hole.

Anyway – like I say – gonna keep it quiet. Reckon it could rock the pigeon community big time, never mind the tsunami it would send into the whole ongoing pigeon gender issue – ref male and female pigeons breastfeeding their kids at the same time. Mental.

May have to lay low for a while – get over the shock of it all.

January 30, 2007. Uncategorized.

5 Comments

  1. r.e.wolf replied:

    As my high school biology teacher intoned, in a deep Maine accent that made him sound mildly retarded, “Birds… have no… *cough* external sex organs.” (This was, of course, followed by 30 teenagers hitting the floor in hysterics.)

    Sorry about the raw deal, Sir B – but it saves you having to protect yourself and land at the same time!

  2. Claire replied:

    So… like, then what do you and another male pigeon do if you get all mad at each other have a pissing contest? Dribble?

  3. pigeonblog replied:

    Ryan: No external sex organs – tell me about it. Can’t believe I never knew. Big shame up! True on the landing front… guess it would kinda get in the way a bit. How do you cope?!
    Your pal Sir B

    Claire: Yep. Never really thought much of it, till now!
    Your palm Bri P

  4. Lynsey replied:

    Bri – what a horror, who knew? Still, you can find everything on the net these days, including (read it and weep) http://snailseyeview.blogspot.com/2007/01/duck-tales.html

    Seems life as an Argentinian blue-billed duck offers some very interesting potentials. You can see why the Argentinians invented the tango – perhaps this is also why Thatcher invaded the Falklands…

  5. pigeonblog replied:

    Lynsey: Lucky bastards. Cheers for the link. Thinking about it, maybe that’s why they swim so fast? Perhaps they use it as an extra paddle? Maybe if we had one we’d be able to swim too?
    Your pal Bri

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