The Frank Report

After all the publicity I’ve been getting like the BBC Radio 5 Live interview – see post below – my comedian pal Frank decided he wanted in on the whole blogging thing, so I agreed to let him do something called, ‘The Frank Report’. It was his idea. Him out and about reporting on shit.

For his first one he said he wanted to go talk to the geese in Hyde Park about the issues around getting fat at Christmas. I pointed out that they would probably be fine about it because anyone who’s gonna tuck into a goose would have done it by now, but Frank was having none of it.

This is Frank:

Clearly bricking it and, yes, he is that big.

He told me he wanted to start off on ‘his better side’:

Frank’s ‘better side’, apparently. Jesus.

Then, when a massive goose comes up from behind, he bricks it even more. I point out the goose is probably just getting a bit of exercise. Trying to loose a little excess fat, just in case.

Unfortunately Frank couldn’t think of anything to say, and just stood there.

Then, amazingly, he pulled it out of the bag…

Frank: “So, er, Mr Goose, Sir… might I ask you what it feels like to be a goose at Christmas?”

Goose: “Fuck off. I’m eating.”

Then Frank goes and legs it! Does a runner!

WTF?

I’d stick to the joke telling if I were you, Frank.