Freeeeeeeeeeeeeeek of The Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeek

This is totally excellent:

The Barry Manilow of freaks. Bring it on. Check out the look in his eye. Clearly loves the cock.

June 13, 2006. Freeeak of the Week, Uncategorized. 8 comments.

Pigeon For Sale

Check out the mad stare. Jesus. Totally drugged up to the eyeballs. 

Cheers for sending it, Ade. Nice one. 

June 12, 2006. Uncategorized. 4 comments.

Learning to Paddle

I think it's the hot weather – but – tbh – I'm on heat. Big time. Well frisky. On the sniff 24/7. Was gonna head to Chiswick to find Mary but couldn't be arsed to fly. Thought about getting the tube but the District Line was down, so Mart suggested another trip to Hyde Park – reckons he saw Pam there yesterday – on her own.

Pitched up – no Pam – so Mart said we should give the whole swimming thing a go anyway. 

Here's Mart giving it a go – 'Hmmm – one toe at a time…':

Shitting it. Pissed ourselves.
Then we got chatting to skinny Pete who asked us to 'help him build a sandcastle'. Eh?


Frankly, a bit odd. Anyway, he pointed out us pigeons don't have the right feet for swimming. We need feet like this:


So Mart's gonna look into sorting us some pigeon flippers.  Knowing Mart we'll probably end up strapping a couple of matchsticks to our feet and wrapping them in cling film. Could work…?

June 11, 2006. Uncategorized. 3 comments.

Anyone seen Mary?

Dave sent me this – cheers dude – said he thought it might be Mary:

Trouble is, he took it in Vienna. Shit. She's fucked off to a land where pigeons get to sit on cool mountain bikes. Bollocks. Don't remember her having freckles tho…

Apparently – cheers for sending it Julia – this is her sister, Liz… she lives in New York:


Julia said they had a chat and Liz told her Mary's totally available and wants to meet – I said to to get in touch. Nada.  Jesus.

Then Laura sent me this – she took it in Hyde Park – loads closer than Vienna. Spot the white chick on the left – she reckons it well looked like Mary:

Right – so – let me know if you spot her. Even better – take a pic and have a word. Gonna work on a poem this weekend. 

June 9, 2006. Uncategorized. 4 comments.

Food Frenzy – The Goose vs The Pigeon

Nuts day today – sunny again. Cool. Decided to head down to Hyde Park – see if I could hunt down some more pigeon porn – see post below – bumped into Elliot. He hiked it from Hoxton coz, apparently, this is where tourists go to get rid of their mouldy bread. Not sure where they get it from coz they've got loads of it… Still up for the pigeon obesity campaign – but a pigeon's gotta eat.

Anyway, turns out he's right. One big free-for-all. Trouble is, that includes The Geese.  Nightmare birds from hell. Totally agressive – no need for it.

Tourist rocks up with the bread… so tourist – spot the chinos


Scramble. Here's Elliot making 'the dash'…

Next thing we know – the goose gets it… bastard.


Then Elliot gets it – ha fucking ha… 

Err… not really. Shit. Run!


Tell you – these geese are bad boys. Big, scary, and not to be messed with. 

Fucking funny tho. Pissed ourselves. 

June 8, 2006. Uncategorized. 1 comment.

Cirque du Soleil in Hyde Park

Ok – looks like the summer's finally rocked up – no excuse for this kind of thing tho. Found these two at it in Hyde Park. Jesus. Pulled 'em up on it – said they were just 'practising their skilled balancing act for Pigeon Du Soleil – like Cirque du Soleil, but for pigeons': 


Him: Hello. Would you like to take part in a balancing act with me? It won't take long… 

Him: There you go. Hold still now… back straight, legs strong… focus…


Him: And off I get. 

Yeah, right. Balancing act my arse. 

June 7, 2006. Uncategorized. 6 comments.

Flash Player Issues

Right – just heard some of you have had problems playing the movie – fine on the audio, just no video. Clearly this is crap, so here's a link to YouTube where you can see it with no Flash player problems whatsoever.

Brian Pigeon's Adventures on The Underground on YouTube

June 6, 2006. Uncategorized. 5 comments.

Freeeeeak of the Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeek

Cheers everyone for the vid feedback. If you haven’t seen it yet – check out the post below.

Some of you asked how I kept my head so still – tbh, I didn’t – it’s the nuts cam that Brixton Del sorted. It’s got a kinda harness thing that works like a bit like a steadicam. Well neat.

Next time I’m gonna embed it in the site tho – make it easier to download. Thinking ‘Brian Pigeon’s Guide to London’? Best joints for a good throwaway? Just general stuff made by a pigeon for the pigeons?

Right – this freak’s been sent to me by a pal, Marit. His name’s Peanut, apparently.

Penut the freak

Jesus. Marit looks after Peanut and says ‘he’s a bit of a grouch’. He blames it on him getting lost in a pile of seed once. I reckon it’s prob coz he’s got a fucked up beak and feels like a bit of a twat most of the time.

Marit says it’s all good now coz Peanut is looking after two orphaned pigeons. Frankly, I think that’s quite scary. That is not the eye of a sane pigeon.

Thanks for sending it Marit – a true pal to the pigeons. Keep up the good work.

June 6, 2006. Freeeak of the Week, Uncategorized. 9 comments.

Brian Pigeon The Movie – At Last – Ye Ha

Jesus. What a weekend of it. Boiling hot sun – normally a good thing – not when you got to keep winging it to Slough and back. Ali sussed it tho – dude. Used Flash video. Genius.

So – here it is: ‘Adventures on The Underground’. A movie made by me of me doing a tube journey. Did it at night coz I figured prob less obvious – till I found out a pigeon with a cam round it’s neck is totally obvious – esp at night. Scary shit. Got the Piccadilly Line all the way from Piccadilly Circus to Turnham Green. Mental.

Did it tho, and reckon it makes an ok movie… Let me know what you think.

This movie is dedicated to Annie Mole.

Click on the picture and then press play in the new window.

Brian Pigeon The Movie

June 4, 2006. Uncategorized. 12 comments.

In Search of Pam

Right – taking a break from movie making – managed to fit it all together – phew – just now it's 3 billion meg and takes 7 months to load – not quite – but it's big.

So – while Ali figures out how to make it smaller – unless anyone out there's got any ideas – let me know in the comments…. onto other stuff. Decided to take Pam up on her offer. Thought about her loads since our date in Soho. Loads.

Heading back from Slough thought I'd swing by – try to find her – I did. Gutted. There she was floating along with another duck. She reckoned his name was Bill and they were just mates. Not impressed. 

Looked loads more than 'just mates' to me:

Pam the duck - and a 'friend'

Mart suggested I should learn to swim. Impress her with a masterful swoop and dive. I told him she probably wouldn't find a drowning pigeon very attractive – esp as she'd prob have to rescue me – big shame up. Mind you, Mart said if that happened there could be some mouth to mouth involved. Good point. Food for thought.

June 2, 2006. Uncategorized. 11 comments.

Brian Pigeon – The Movie – as if! Jesus.

Right – this whole movie making thing – nightmare.

Winged it to Ali's gaff – did the throwaway first – went for the safe option, esp after last time – had this:

Bit dull tbh – wish I'd gone for egg fried.

Anyway – spent fucking hours putting the vid clips together in iMovie – stuck on some nice effects – even did some opening titles. Full works. Then – this totally sucks the big one – machine crashed and the whole shitting movie just disappeared. Eh? Fucking nowhere to be found. Nada. No movie whatsoever. Jesus Christ.

Can you imagine this happening to Spielberg?: "Sorry, Steve, you know that movie Jurassic Park? The one you just finished? The one that's taken you ages? Well it seems to have disappeared. I'm sorry, but would you mind starting again?"

Fucks sake. Needless to say I had to go fly round the block a couple of times – calm down a bit. Quite cool tho – spotted Terry Wogan buying a can of coke – cheered me up.

Anyway, back on the job now – starting from scratch.

June 1, 2006. Uncategorized. 2 comments.

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