A Duck Called Pam
Check this out for weirdness on a Saturday. Hanging out in Soho Square with the boys and this duck just comes waddling over.
This is me and Elliot having a look.
Elliot dared me to say ‘hello’…
So I did.
Got chatting – turns out her name’s Pam. I said I knew a pigeon called Pam who had really bad asthma. I asked her what she was doing in Soho where there was no water whatsover? She said she just fancied a bit of a change. Fair enough. Pretty exciting as I don’t know that many ducks.
Here’s Martin trying to teach her the ‘kingly leg lift manoevre’. Fucking funny.
She kinda got it too…
Then she pissed herself when a couple of pigeon dudes started getting it on.
“What’s with the big neck thing?” She asked. Guess if you don’t do that in your world it must look kinda weird. She pissed herself even more when she saw him with his head up her bum.
Said that was just plain rude. Apparently, duck sex is all about the foreplay. I didn’t know what that was, so she told me. Sounds like a top idea.
She also asked me if the hat was traditional. I told her it wasn’t. Just the sign of a twat.
Mart took this of me and Pam just before she left:
She invited me over to hers next weekend. It’s a shame she’s a duck. Call me weird but I thought she was pretty hot. I said I’d only go if she showed me what this foreplay thing was. She laughed. I was being serious. Obviously not going public on that one!