Breaking Pigeon News: Pigeons of Dover – Shit Scared
Right – this serious – enough about fake giant elephants – onto some serious pigeon news.
This is the scene in Dover at the mo – a mate got in touch – the pigeons have gone into hiding – shitting themselves, literally:
This is why:
"Dover town council has decided there are too many pigeons in town especially around a war memorial making a mess, and as such have decided to cull a substantial amount under, quote "in silence under the cover of night" unquote."
Apparently – the mess they're on about is mainly crisp bags. When was the last time you saw a pigeon with a bag of crisps? Jesus Christ.
The STTSP are on the case already, and they want my help. Wondered for a sec why they're worried about Dover when there's still loads to sort in London – prob don't have a Dover branch – and this is kinda serious.
Pigeons down there are a right good laugh too – have to be to put up with the dull arse gulls – 'dulls' as we call 'em. Pretty multi-cultur-a-lo too with France being so close.
So – let me know what you think in the comments – NOW – and I'll make sure it gets to the right people. Let's put a stop to what is, frankly, pigeon fucking genocide.