Breaking Pigeon News: Pigeons of Dover – Shit Scared

Right – this serious – enough about fake giant elephants – onto some serious pigeon news.

This is the scene in Dover at the mo – a mate got in touch – the pigeons have gone into hiding – shitting themselves, literally:

This is why:

"Dover town council has decided there are too many pigeons in town especially around a war memorial making a mess, and as such have decided to cull a substantial amount under, quote "in silence under the cover of night" unquote."

Fucking outrageous!

Apparently – the mess they're on about is mainly crisp bags. When was the last time you saw a pigeon with a bag of crisps? Jesus Christ.

The STTSP are on the case already, and they want my help. Wondered for a sec why they're worried about Dover when there's still loads to sort in London – prob don't have a Dover branch – and this is kinda serious.

Pigeons down there are a right good laugh too – have to be to put up with the dull arse gulls – 'dulls' as we call 'em. Pretty multi-cultur-a-lo too with France being so close.

So – let me know what you think in the comments – NOW – and I'll make sure it gets to the right people. Let's put a stop to what is, frankly, pigeon fucking genocide.

May 3, 2006. Uncategorized.


  1. Becci replied:

    After I got the alert, I wrote to the Dover city council and told them that if they’d just clean up the garbage, the pigeons would leave. Meanwhile, if they kill a bunch of the pigeons, those remaining will breed faster since there will suddenly be more garbage per pigeon. Within a couple of years they’ll end up with even more pigeons then they had before, and after that, the SAME NUMBER. Hey, that’s how you pigeons work, as you have probably noticed. Why do something cruel and awful when you could just clean up your filthy streets?

    It sounded more eloquent in the email. 🙂

  2. Alex replied:

    Support your local pigeons scene…
    Cool blog..I’ll return very soon !

  3. pigeonblog replied:

    Becci: You’re a total dude. Cheers! Let me know if they get back to you… All they need to do is a bit of organised seed dispensing and we’re sorted. Only reason the numbers get out of hand is all the out of town pigeons rock up when they hear there’s a big free for all going on!
    Your pal
    Bri P

    Alex: Cheers, mate. Nice one. Thanks for the support!
    Your pal
    Brian P

  4. TheMac replied:

    This unchecked aggression against pigeons cannot be allowed to stand. Dover town council’s plan will not accomplish their goals, and further, if enacted, will give the city a black mark on its international reputation.

  5. Fritz replied:

    Pigeons need to learn to fight like Ducks…

  6. pigeonblog replied:

    The Mac: Sorry not to get back sooner – bit of a mad one today. Cheers for your support. Cool. Maybe we should mass fly-by the channel tunnel?
    Your pal
    Brian P

    Fritz: We’re getting there! Still on the basic landing skills tho, unfortunately…
    Your pal
    Bri P

  7. Julia replied:

    Brian, on behalf of my fellow humans, I’m so sorry for what we’ve done to pigeons. If we weren’t so dirty in the first place, you guys wouldn’t get the reputation as garbage-pickers. We erect these monuments with the full knowledge that pigeons like to perch on ledges, then we make a big fuss when you do! When will we learn? I’m sorry that we give pigeons such a bad name…remember, a pigeon is a tough dove!

  8. pigeonblog replied:

    Julia: Thanks for that. You’re right tho – you guys are well dirty. You leave the shit, and we get the blame for tucking in! Cheers loads for the support.
    Your pal Bri

  9. S. Quab replied:

    great blog! good to see pigeons have featherless friends looking out for them.

    thought you might find this interesting…more pigeon info I ran across

  10. pigeonblog replied:

    S. Quab: Cheers! Tops pigeon pic too. Love IS the pigeon!
    Your pal
    Brian P

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