Pigeon Forge – top holiday destination

Figured if I'm gonna go all the way to the States, may as well grab some chillout time while I'm there. Found the perfect spot:

Pigeon Forge

Fucking cool holiday place just for pigeons. The nuts places to stay, like on top of log cabins like this:

Nearly all got flat roof bits with a view – nice detail – guess we can kip on the deck if it rains too. Cool.

Loads of shit to do like:

'miniature golf' – Not sure why they called it 'miniature'? Course it's in fucking miniature, it's for pigeons!

'go karting' – Prob sit us in rollerskates or something. Cool.

'bumper boats and water rides' – odd coz pigeons don't normally like water rides, willing to give it a go though. Like the idea of bumper boats.

'laser games' – sounds dangerous to me…

'indoor skydiving simulator' – not sure who'd want to do this seeing as we pigeons do nothing but fucking skydive! Maybe it's for the squabs…?

Then – perfect – they got all these special events:

7th April – '21st Annual Dolly's Music on Parade' – sounds like they got a singing pigeon called Dolly. Anyone heard of Dolly Pigeon? Not sure I have. Mind you, she's done it twenty times already so she's got to be pretty good by now. Hopefully.

7th – 10th April: 'Smokey Mountain Scrabble Tournament' – this sounds cool. Get load of us just scrabbling around. Prob a good way to pull.

16th April – 'Easter Bunny Arrives' – tbh this sounds scary. A fucking big bunny turning up. Why? Don't get it. Pigeons hate rabbits and vice versa.

Anyway, Pigeon Forge says it has 'something for everyone'. Fuckin' 'a'. Any pigeons out there, let me know if you've been and what it's like coz it's a long way to go if it's shit.

April 1, 2006. Uncategorized.

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