Warning All Essex Pigeons – Vulture On The Loose
Kid you not – scary shit. Some massive great vulture called Guinevere – eh? – has escaped:
Jesus Christ. 2ft 6in – that’s huge. It’s gonna be pissed and, more to the point, fucking hungry.
“She probably wouldn’t know how to go about killing something. She’s a gentle giant and wouldn’t hurt a fly.”
“Guinevere’s mate, another black vulture named Lancelot, was “missing her terribly”, Mrs Murray added.”
Stop – you’re breaking my fucking heart!
Essex pigeons, if I were you I’d keep a well low profile till they get it back behind bars where it belongs for the rest of its natural.