Newsflash: London Hawk Could Be French!
Right – after a bit of pecking around and a chat to Terry on The Square it looks like the Trafalgar Square killing machine – known as Eric – could be French.
Tbh not sure why he's called Eric – doesn't sound fucking French to me, also bit of a twatty name for a Hawk – but what do I know, I'm only a pigeon.
Anyway, this is what the press release from Mayor Ken said when he hired him:
"A hawk is flown throughout the day once feeding has ceased in order to scare away pigeons. The presence of the hawk sends a strong signal to visitors to the Square that feeding is no longer permitted, and is a popular, natural and humane method of reducing the presence of pigeons during the day."
'Popular, natural and humane' – my arse. Certainly not 'popular' with the fucking pigeons! Word on the street is it scares the shit out of any who get in its way – makes out like it's gonna eat them – and targets the olds who are normally shit at flying. Seems Hawkboy Eric knows exactly what he's doing.
The French thing comes from Terry who reckons he's clocked a couple of French pigeons knocking about – and they don't look like there on no day trip! Weirdly – Hawkboy Eric leaves them alone… What the fuck?
He said they turned up one night – and then just mingled with the London pigeons talking in well bad fake cockney accents – coz Terry's a TP he's done the rounds and knows a shit cockney accent when he hears one – esp when it's done by a couple of French twats.
Like I say – only two so far – worrying though.
This is turning into a right undercover op. Love it. So does Mart. Thank fuck for this blogging thing – any French pigeons out there who know anything about this piece of shit Eric – let me know in the comments coz it seems he's doing the dirty on us London pigeons – as if Ken wasn't bad enough.
May have to go to France. Anyone out there know where the ferry goes from coz I'm not flying in this weather?