Terry, Hawkboy – and a bunch of scared pigeons…
Sorted – tops – got a gaff in Beak Street and I’m movin’ in. Ali – top pal – has got me a temp office off Berwick Street – just round the corner from Beak. Some mate of his who does internet stuff – not sure what – said he’d leave the window open. Cool. Means I can swerve the Pink freak show too. Loved my office in Slough but… time to move on.
Mart’s gonna join me – he said he wasn’t being gay – just wanted to live up West. Seeing as the fight against Ken is starting to hot up it’s probably a good thing we’re a bit more central…
Heard about some shit going down – there’s some geezer dressed as a hawk going round Trafalger Square scaring pigeons – apparently Ken asked him to do it?? Obv a total fuckin’ nutter. Decided to investigate.
Mart and I winged it over for a butchers. Took the cam, and bumped into Terry….
This is Terry – he’s one serious TP (Tourist Pigeon, trained specially for heavy tourist sites). There’s not many of us can get away with hanging out on the Square these days. He can.
This is why:
Terry doing the ‘Kingly’
Check him out. Totally fuckin’ preened to fuck- he’s like it all the time. Does a different chest green everyday, and waxes it. Poof. Right up his own arse to be honest. They just gave him an O.P.E. – Order of the Pigeon Empire – fuckin’ load of old shite. Totally went to his head. In this pic he’s demonstrating the ‘Kingly leg lift whilst keeping the head straight’ manoevre – which is why I got away with taking the pic – said it was for a mag – twat! Check out the 2 behind him kissing his regal pigeon arse – he gets it all the time. Just makes him worse. Mind you, ‘the kingly’ is pretty fucking hard. I’ve tried it!
Ego aside – he knows his shit about the square. So I asked him.
What he told me was worse than the twat dressed as a hawk, that’s quite funny, it’s a twat with a hawk. Nearly shat myself. He told me not to worry coz Monday was his day off.
I looked it up, and he’s right. Shit, man. A real hawk, and it’s been going on for years. Mind you – till I got into this whole Bird Flu / Ken thing, I hadn’t been to the Square for a while. Gotta think on this one… it sucks. Big time.
Course TPs are allowed to hang out on the Square – that’s why they’re TPs – so Hawkboy leaves ’em alone. As for the other poor scrawny fuckers – no wonder the Square’s a desert these days. Such a shame. Used to be an ace place to hang out!
The Good Ol’ Days!
So – movin’ nest tomorrow – see ya Hayes. Got to do the rounds with the boys and say my goodbyes. This pigeon’s got stuff to do!