The Pink Pigeons from Hell

Right -yesterday – bit of a write off really. Knackered after Friday night’s Hoxton singalong plus reckon the Thai Green Curry juice did something bad to my insides. Less fucking said about that, the better.

Anyways, Mart got bored of sitting around helping with the odd pic upload and the sun was shining for the first time in shitting ages. Decided to head up West. Mentioned a while back I’m looking for a new gaff – got to get the fuck out of the Hayes culture dessert!

Considered Hoxton from a creative POV but Wordsworth would so get on my tits. Now thinking Soho – reckon it’s gotta be easy to set up there – loads of meedja twats who’d dig a bloggin’ pigeon popping in everyday.
So – kinda on a bit of a recce – pigeon cam round my neck. Always best to take some pics and think about it for a day – don’t take the first roof you see.

“Location, location, location” said Mart. Fuck knows where got that from – right though.

Arrived and went sniffing for Doug – the wannabe actor pigeon mate who sent me the scary cat pic. Then… shit me… what the fuck…

A pink fucking pigeon… and not one… but a whole fucking row of ’em standing still as fuck – beak to arse. Jesus Christ.

To be honest, bit embarrasing, thought they might be sad fuck pigeon actors doing the “let’s stand really still covered in paint” thing.

Seen fuckwit humans like this doing it:

Not sure why.

When we got close though – found out they were plastic and nailed to the windows. How fucking degrading.

Mind you – word on the street was the cows were well pissed off with what happened to them a few years ago, and they were fucking everywhere!

For now – gonna spread the word and get as many of us pigeons as possible to shit on the pink parade – they’ve got to go – especailly if I’m gonna live round the corner. Imagine bumping into ’em bit pissed late at night. Fucking nightmare.

March 5, 2006. Uncategorized.

3 Comments

  1. r.e.wolf replied:

    You will appreciate that the last human I saw doing the “covered in paint and standing real still” thing had shown the presemce of mind (?) to paint on the pigeon poop too! I laughed my arse off!

  2. Fritz replied:

    Pink Plastic Pidgeons? WTF I have seen plastic owls used in barns to scare away pidgeons and they don’t work. What were they thinking? You need to send someone into “Sister” elicit a response….

  3. pigeonblog replied:

    Mr Ryan: That’s fucking hilarious. They don’t need to do that over here coz we shit on them anyway!

    Fritz: I agree. Am gonna send the Manager a link to my complaint. I don’t think he thought for a second about how offensive it was!

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