Midge – The Drug Sniffing Half Dog

ok – so I’m not exactly a huge fan of canines but seeing as I’m one of the only non humans into this blog thing – probably not for long tho – thought I’d report all non human stuff and not just pigeon stuff. Especially shit like this that made me piss myself. Humans are fucking weird, man. The more I look into it – the weirder they get. Especially in Ohio…

“Geauga County’s Sheriff Department plans to train Midge as the smallest drug-sniffing dog in Ohio.”

 

 

 You’ve got to be fucking kidding! It’s barely a dog and it’s gonna be a drug sniffer. Jesus Christ – it’ll be off its tits in a snort. One small bag of charlie and it’s dead! Plus looks like fame’s gone to it’s head – or maybe it’s hooked already? It’s given up walking and gets carried around my some poor dopey fuck dog called Brutus!

And what makes it triple weird is what the mentalist humans are saying:

“One officer says, “She watches everybody comes in the room. Her ears perk up and she watches who’s coming in.”

Hate to point this out but don’t all fucking dogs do this…?
    
“She is cute,” Geauga Sheriff Dan McClelland said. “She is little. She’s very friendly. She likes people a lot.”

er… I would have thought not the fucking point at all when hunting down drug barons…

Mind you – it’ll probably be forced to retire in 6 months when it’s tripping so bad it thinks it’s a squirrel. Watch this space.
 

 

March 3, 2006. Uncategorized.

5 Comments

  1. r.e.wolf replied:

    She’s barely half a sandwich…

  2. Kristina replied:

    HAHAHAHahahahahaha. *gasp, pant, cry* Bwhahahahahaha…

    *gasp*

    Right. Here’s the thing: It’s not really humans in general that are incredibly dumb; it’s just most americans… and most of the really dumb ones are either in gov’t or have some position of power over here. Which, sadly, explains the dust bunnie you have pictured above being appointed as a drug sniffing pup.

    Our country is a pretty place to visit… come see our mountains and coastlines! Then, escape quickly… before the dumb people get you… and sic their three inch tall puppy on you.

  3. pigeonblog replied:

    Ryan: Couldn’t agree more. Hilarious. I’ve pissed myself at the though of Midge actually finding anything.

    Kristina: I’m sure your country is pretty but, sadly, there are dogs the size of purses that sniff your arse when you get there! Sadly there are dumb people everywhere – which is why I love being a pigeon. I can hide any time I want. Ye ha!

    Brian P

  4. artm replied:

    More pidgie blogs are to be expected:

    http://news.cnet.co.uk/gadgets/0,39029672,49249208,00.htm

    QUOTE

    The 20 pigeons will be released into the skies over San Jose, California in August.

    Each bird will carry a GPS satellite tracking receiver, air pollution sensors and a basic mobile phone.

    Text messages on air quality will be beamed back in real time to a special pigeon blog, a journal accessible on the Internet.

    UNQUOTE

  5. pigeonblog replied:

    artm: I know – this is scary stuff. These poor fuckers are gonna choke to death while someone watches it on video. Did you see my post – the simple sniff test? My solution to air polution tracking!
    Your pal
    Brian

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