Bird Flu: A Simple Solution
Yesterday I hit the West End with Mart and the new pigeon cam on the hunt for some Tourist Pigeons – pigeons trained in the art of tourist management. Got some great pics, but back to bird flu.
Like I said before, no-one has ever seen a pigeon with so much as a sniffle, not even slightly, never mind full blown fucking flu. Still, we thought we should probably take some precautions, so me and Mart came up with this:
A simple mask, modeled here by Pam who suffers from chronic asthma and normally has to steer clear of flowers, especially at this time of year.
We’re so fucking chuffed with the results, we’re gonna send a full spec to Mayor Ken (Livingstone).
To be honest, I do think we need to act fast. Panic’s starting to spread and us pigeons are already getting weird looks on the street:
Also got news from France that the chickens are out partying, hard. Looks like they may be getting a bit of a break for once:
“The $7-billion-a-year French poultry industry had been battered even before the appearance of bird flu. An initial, ultimately unfounded, avian flu scare last fall had already reduced chicken sales and consumption. The recent confirmation of the arrival of bird flu cut poultry sales by as much as 30 percent.” New York Times International
News is spreading fast and the turkeys are even talking about the possible cancelling of Christmas…
“As mayor, I will defend the good reputation of our chickens, which are known throughout France and Europe. We have to avoid a Hitchcock psychosis.” said Pierre Rolland, the mayor of Loué, a poultry-producing town southwest of Paris.”
Thanks for defending your chickens Monsieur Rolland but, to be honest, I think this Hitchcock psychosis could be the best fucking thing that’s ever happened to us birds.