The Magpie Myth
ok – so I’ve calmed down a bit having done a fly by over Datchet. No sign of scrawny arse but did manage to track down a couple of his old drinking buddies… it seems he may have gone underground. Not that I blame him considering the state he’s in.
It seems his problems started a few years ago when he stumbled home one night across the runway at Terminal 3 narrowly missing getting totally flattened by the wheels of a passing 737. Poor fucker. Maybe I’ll leave him alone… Apparently he spends his days hanging out at the Dog & Duck. Sad.
Also, seeing as this blog thing is starting to take off I’m not sure it’s worth the hassle especially as Martin let me down on the photography AGAIN: ‘Oh dear, forgot to charge it’. Twat.
I think my strategy of hunting down the self-op-hang-round-the-neck alternative is the way to go. Heading down to Brixton Sunday avo to check out the guy who said he could fix me up…
Anyways – met a really interesting old bird – a Magpie called David (or Dave as I kept calling him – forgot to ask which he preferred…). He told me something which I really thought I should share coz it’s fucking funny.
Apparently, when him and his bird hang out near the M4 (sure I’ve seen them around in Hayes too…) one of them hides in the bushes while the other wanders around looking all lost and sad and lonely because, apparently (which is mental) but people in cars think it’s bad luck to see a Magpie on their own and do fucking crazy things like salute them and say ‘Good morning Mr Magpie, how’s your wife and kids’! I absolutely pissed myself. They do it all the time – and it caught on so now loads of Magpies do it. Duck in the bushes and have competitions to see how many dickheads give them the salute. Hilarious!
I reckon exposing a few other myths about birds could be the way to go!
Off now to tart myself up for the night out in Hoxton. Looking forward to it. Sadly Martin wants to come – don’t want to be horrible but he aint no artist either (and kind of thinks he is… which is a shame). Judge for yourself and let me know:
(and this is one of his better ones… might have been a bit more interesting if he had added some colour??)