Here it is - hard evidence - Trafalgar Square is run by wankers.

1. Nice man feeding a bunch of pals.

2. Watch out fellas - wanker on the way…

3. Fun's over. Fucks sake.

Cool though coz the nice man ignored the wanker, and did it anyway.

Later on a mate called Graham shat on the wanker's head, which seriously pissed him off:

Esp as it was the wrong wanker.

Nice.

Looks like the word's really getting out there - me and Mart were on our way to Hoxton for a spot of throwaway with the boys, when we saw this:

Check out the spikes and the fuck off look from the dude on the right. Seems pigeons everywhere are hanging out for ages in any place that puts anti-us spikes up. Cool. Top move. Like it.

The one in the middle, Gordon - he'd heard of the 'Give Pigeons A Chance' campaign and was well up for the fly-by - said he'd have to work on his take off though.

Anyway - rest of the night was tops - spot of poetry reading in Hoxton with the boys - also got the best throwaway - here's us finishing off - taken by Wordsworth. Me and Mart on the left fighting over a chip. Fucking funny.

Took my own poem along - something I'm kinda working on:

"Pigeons of Trafalgar Square

We need to eat, it isn't fair

How London's Mayor can make it so

When we are oh so hungry - oh"

Think the end needs a bit of work tbh…

Anyone else wanna do me a protest poem - send it to brianpigeon AT gmail DOT com.

Right - just checked the Time Out vote - see post below - 'Should pigeon feeding remain banned?' Nightmare… 75% say 'yes'. Jesus Christ. What the fuck? Not good. Not good at all. Means my 'Give Pigeons A Chance' campaign needs loads more work. Gotta get going on the fly-by asap and spread the word on the 'all clear'…

What's weird is last week 71% said yes to, 'Do you want Jesus in your pocket'. Eh? Would've thought this was a damn site harder than chucking a hungry pigeon a couple of seeds…?

We need to turn this thing around - so get voting NOW, or we'll all end up looking like this:

You've been warned.

Today was quite a nice day - so decided to do a bit of landing practice on The Square - part of the getting ready for the protest fly-by. Fucking funny.

This is me doing quite a tricky 'leg tuck wing stretch' manouevre - managed to point the toes and everything :

…and this is Elliot - slightly late on the breaking front with a bit of a skid - apart from that, not bad:

…and this is Mart - fuck's sake:

He fell over just after I took this.

Have since suggested getting some homies or racers involved - pigeons who fly for a living and seriously know their shit - could be a good idea. They all agreed - esp Mart! On the case first thing.

Quick dash into Norm’s gaff to post a protest update. Starting to feel a bit like Desmond Tutu.

Fucking nuts day yesterday. Sorted a protest gathering follow up meeting.

Here’s some of the boys:

Cool. Wanted to get going on the ‘Give Pigeons A Chance Protest Fly-By 2006′ - working title - tbh prob need something bit more catchy… Any suggestions, let me know in the comments.

Even Michael’s dad turned up - that’s him in the middle. Serious stuff. Brought Wing Commander’ P.R. Geon along - the puffed up dude next to him - bit of a twat tbh - ex PAF. He reckons we need to sort some flying practice out - said there’s nothing worse than “a messy fly-by”.

So - guess he’s right - and that’s the weekend sorted. Mart and me are gonna have to spread the word and get some flying action going on the Square.

Reckon it could be a right laugh!

Cool. Michael's Dad got in touch following the gathering. Said he'd send one of his best top notch protest boys down to see me. Told me to be on Trafalgar Square North Terrace at 8 this morning. Bit fucking early - never mind. Totally worth it. I asked him how I'd know which one was him…

He just said:

"You will - he'll be all in black with a mean look in his eye".

He wasn't wrong. Spotted him straight away. This is one serious fucking rock hard pigeon dude - been all round Europe, escaped the pigeon Mafia in Italy, even went to LA for the riots over there. Top organiser and totally up for helping out.

Started off with a bit of a recce on the Square:

That's me behind him. Cool.

Pain in the arse Mart just happened to be 'accidentally' standing in the background and kinda ruined the pic. Twat.

Then we sat in the tree and talked strategy for a bit - looks like the mass fly by is a winner for now. That plus the 'Give Pigeons A Chance' petition drop off to Mayor Ken. Need as many names on it as poss so if you haven't signed it already - do it now.

Talking petitions - the STTSP got in touch. Looks like they want to hook up afterall. I'll let you know on this one. Mind you, think I'm doing more about it than they are at the mo!

Sorry, bit of a late post - Norm decided to 'spring clean' the office. Poof. No fucking idea why, looked fine to me. Obv means pressure on to leave a feather in a really hard to get to place.
Anyway - onto yesterday and the protest gathering - a stonking success all round. Really. Very chuffed indeed.

'5, 6, 7, 8… pigeons, we retaliate!' cooing out across Trafalgar Square - sadly drowned out a bit by a bunch of happy clappies who rocked up. Shame. Also, slightly shitty weather which prob kept the numbers down - like not one Hackney pigeon showed, and they love a good shout out.

Still a top day though. Got Michael's dad along to say a few words. Fuckin' cool. He seriously knows his shit when it comes to protests.

This is Michael's dad saying a few words:

…and here's us lot. Michael's in there, so's Mart's - he's the twat on the left looking at the camera - even Linda and Dicky pitched up.

He gave some pointers on stuff like 'how to manage an efficient and effective fly by', 'organised defecation' - shitting on target, 'structured mass elevations' - taking off together. Cool.

Then, he sorted us into 'breakaway strategy groups' - Mart took this one of my group:

Actor mate Doug ended up in it with me tho, which kinda pissed me off - he was only there for the drama and kept staggering backwards saying stuff like: 'We're all going to die' in a really OTT drama way. Twat. Everyone just ignored him and got on with it.

So - a big massive thanks to all the pigeons who turned up to give their support. Trying to get them to sign the 'Give Pigeons A Chance' petition was a bit of a nightmare tho - not enough of them got access to a PC.

One really really cool thing - made my day - Hoxton Elliot spotted it…

Some dude came down with a Pigeon Blog tote bag! Fucking wicked! That's Elliot in front doing his "er… check out behind me" face.

Anyway - loads to do and I'll obv keep you up to date with what we're up to. We're gonna have Ken licking our feathery butts before you know it!

Hooked up with some of the boys earlier - see post below - and they reckon a protest gathering's a good start. So - we're getting together this Sunday in Trafalgar Square at 2pm. Fucking perfect. Mart's gonna sort the seed, Linda's bringing some of her mates. Even Doug's coming down. Hawkboy Eric doesn't work on a Sunday, so it's all good.

This avo, bumped into Michael.

This is Michael.

Michael's a top brass protest pro and was well up for it. Seriously knows his stuff. His dad was there at the Poll Tax riots in 1990 and Michael's just got back from France where it's all been kicking off big time. Rock hard.

Anyone wanna come down, do. You'll see me coz I'll be the one with the cam round my neck.

Got to get a good chant going… Michael's pretty good at that kinda thing… How about:

"One, two, three, four - we're the birds you can't ignore

Five, six, seven, eight - pigeons, we retaliate!"

Cool.

Trafalgar Square in the good old days…

Got sent this from the really effective - not - STTSP:

"Dear Supporter,
URGENT ACTION ALERT!
You are being sent this message because you kindly offered to take part in
our “Action Alert” scheme on behalf of the Trafalgar Square Pigeons. The
time has come for us to ask you to make your first protest!"

This pissed me off - told em' before I already got over 320 signatures on my 'Give Pigeons A Chance' campaign - not bad for a pigeon - they showed fuck all interest. Told 'em coz I thought they'd be chuffed a real pigeon wanted to help out. Even said I could get some mates together for a protest. Nada. Mind you, at least they give a shit now - better than nothing.

It went on…
"It has emerged that Westminster City Council has applied to the Department for the Environment and Rural Affairs (DEFRA) for a ban on the feeding of pigeons on the North Terrace of Trafalgar Square and in other “problem areas” of Westminster. As you know there has been rogue feeding by a tiny handful of people on the north terrace. A consequence is that the GLA is threatening to end our deal. If they do so, we will, of course, continue to feed the birds in defiance of the GLA. This would, under existing laws, be illegal on the Square itself. We would therefore need to feed on the North Terrace – and if this byelaw is passed, feeding here, too, will be illegal, with the consequence that STTSP volunteers will risk fines and court appearances for trying to prevent the birds from starving."

Out-fucking-rageous! North Terrace can be a total life saver, esp when you're knackered and can't be arsed to find a throwaway.

Then, top it all, Ken snuk in a 'Restoration of Nelson's Column' at the same time. All seemed like a quite nice idea - give Nelson a bit of a clean. None of us pigeons really minded - tad inconvenient for a couple of days, but nicer to sit on when it's done.

Then - I read the small print:

"general cleaning to remove pigeon guano and pigeon proofing of minor areas."

Jesus Christ. What's going on? Found this article in The Guardian - A bit of 'pigeon proofing of minor areas' my arse:

"For Nelson's Column, we're putting mesh over the bronze acanthus, and spikes just above the bas-relief to prevent the birds from landing and roosting. Our main concern is making pigeon-deterrence visually acceptable."

Spikes? Mesh? What the fuck?

Turns out job's being done by David Ball Restoration Ltd. -same company who sorted Marble Arch a while back. We didn't mind that one so much coz Marble Arch was a bit of a shithole anyway. Too many Kilburn pigeons knocking about.

Anyway - urgent action is needed. Been chatting to some of my mates on The Square - gonna hold an emergency meeting tomorrow - get a plan together.

Already got Stage 1 going. Fucking funny coz looks like they've sussed it already:

"Across the square from Nelson, the birds are fighting a rearguard action, making a desperate last stand on Marc Quinn's statue of Alison Lapper."

My idea.

Might even suggest a mass fly by? Cover Ken's offices in shit? Something like that…?

Be a fucking laugh too coz they're round and made of glass and prob a real bastard to clean.

If you haven't done it already, sign the 'Give Pigeons A Chance' petition NOW. Gonna give it to Ken, personally, gonna get the press there and gonna drop him a large one on my way out.

Ken - we need to eat, and we need to shit so leave us the fuck alone.

This IS The Battle of Trafalgar - Brian Pigeon style.

Posted this before a while back just when I was getting going on the 'Give Pigeons A Chance' campaign. Thought it would be timely to post it again.

Hilarious. Mart took it. It's me having a shit in front of one of Ken's 'don't feed the pigeons' signs.

Power to the pigeon - bring it on!

Ok - here's an update on the 'Give Pigeons A Chance' campaign I launched a couple of weeks ago in response to Mayor Ken's frankly very pigeon unfriendly behaviour. Tbh he's been anti-us since he got in - first thing he did was ban pigeon feeding on Trafalgar Square. Bastard. Then he sent in Hawkboy Eric and now, he's telling everyone we've got the flu. Simply not true. Ever heard a pigeon sneeze? I think not.

Anyway - it seems people everywhere really do care. Lots. 268 signatures so far - from all round the world. This blogging thing rocks. Being a pigeon I could never have got this many from carrying around a clip board, even with Mart's help.

Check it out. Here's is some of the stuff they've been saying:

"Don´t be cruel, stop starving the pigeons to death. They also want to live like you!" Sabine Brunelli

"What is wrong with Ken Livingstone? Why is he uptight about pigeons? Mr. Livingstone seems like a bad man." Myra.

"Please don't harm the pigeons in such a cruel way. They are such wonderful, intelligent birds. Open your eyes and hearts, please." Debra Garceau-McGarry

Brings a tear to my eye. Kid you not. Strangely there seem to be a fair few from France, which is odd seeing as I slagged them bad a few days ago. Obviously don't hold a grudge. Mind you - I heard they love a good protest. Not sure I had any from French pigeons though. Typical.

"There are too many humans on this planet…Do you want to starve them too?There is another way !!!" Eneas Mentzel

You tell 'em Eneas. Strong stuff.

"I don't need a huge amount of intelligence for realize this: PIGEONS SUFFER, and you don't care about it. That shows you are less smart than a pigeon. Pathetic". Matias Barmat

Too right Matias.

You can read more of them by going here and, if you haven't signed it already, you can do that too.

Cheers to everyone for their support. Power to the pigeons.

Here it is - the launch of the new range of pigeon merchandise. Got to thinking that my ‘Give Pigeons A Chance’ campaign could do with a bit of a lift. So, giving you these. Top merch. Wear ‘em with pride and get the word out there - us pigeons need a voice. For anyone not been here before this is all to do with the anti-pigeon vibe going down in London right now. Mayor Ken wants us out - and we think we should stay. Simple.
First off - the protest thong:

Got Ali to help on the ‘what to do’ side. He reckons ‘chicks will dig this’.

Then there’s the handy carry bag:

Cool.

Then of course the essential mug - can’t imagine coffee without it - not that I do coffee - I’m a pigeon:

Rocks.

Last but not least… the pigeon tank - one for the ladies - so Ali says:

All non-profit. I’m a pigeon so banking cash is kinda hard. Just wanted to give something back to the people and get the word on the street. If you buy one - send me a pic of you in it or with it, and I’ll post it.

Right - after a bit of pecking around and a chat to Terry on The Square it looks like the Trafalgar Square killing machine - known as Eric - could be French.

Tbh not sure why he's called Eric - doesn't sound fucking French to me, also bit of a twatty name for a Hawk - but what do I know, I'm only a pigeon.

Anyway, this is what the press release from Mayor Ken said when he hired him:

"A hawk is flown throughout the day once feeding has ceased in order to scare away pigeons. The presence of the hawk sends a strong signal to visitors to the Square that feeding is no longer permitted, and is a popular, natural and humane method of reducing the presence of pigeons during the day."

'Popular, natural and humane' - my arse. Certainly not 'popular' with the fucking pigeons! Word on the street is it scares the shit out of any who get in its way - makes out like it's gonna eat them - and targets the olds who are normally shit at flying. Seems Hawkboy Eric knows exactly what he's doing.

The French thing comes from Terry who reckons he's clocked a couple of French pigeons knocking about - and they don't look like there on no day trip! Weirdly - Hawkboy Eric leaves them alone… What the fuck?

He said they turned up one night - and then just mingled with the London pigeons talking in well bad fake cockney accents - coz Terry's a TP he's done the rounds and knows a shit cockney accent when he hears one - esp when it's done by a couple of French twats.

Like I say - only two so far - worrying though.

This is turning into a right undercover op. Love it. So does Mart. Thank fuck for this blogging thing - any French pigeons out there who know anything about this piece of shit Eric - let me know in the comments coz it seems he's doing the dirty on us London pigeons - as if Ken wasn't bad enough.

May have to go to France. Anyone out there know where the ferry goes from coz I'm not flying in this weather?

Sorted - tops - got a gaff in Beak Street and I’m movin’ in. Ali - top pal - has got me a temp office off Berwick Street - just round the corner from Beak. Some mate of his who does internet stuff - not sure what - said he’d leave the window open. Cool. Means I can swerve the Pink freak show too. Loved my office in Slough but… time to move on.
Mart’s gonna join me - he said he wasn’t being gay - just wanted to live up West. Seeing as the fight against Ken is starting to hot up it’s probably a good thing we’re a bit more central…

Heard about some shit going down - there’s some geezer dressed as a hawk going round Trafalger Square scaring pigeons - apparently Ken asked him to do it?? Obv a total fuckin’ nutter. Decided to investigate.

Mart and I winged it over for a butchers. Took the cam, and bumped into Terry….

This is Terry - he’s one serious TP (Tourist Pigeon, trained specially for heavy tourist sites). There’s not many of us can get away with hanging out on the Square these days. He can.

This is why:

Terry doing the ‘Kingly’

Check him out. Totally fuckin’ preened to fuck- he’s like it all the time. Does a different chest green everyday, and waxes it. Poof. Right up his own arse to be honest. They just gave him an O.P.E. - Order of the Pigeon Empire - fuckin’ load of old shite. Totally went to his head. In this pic he’s demonstrating the ‘Kingly leg lift whilst keeping the head straight’ manoevre - which is why I got away with taking the pic - said it was for a mag - twat! Check out the 2 behind him kissing his regal pigeon arse - he gets it all the time. Just makes him worse. Mind you, ‘the kingly’ is pretty fucking hard. I’ve tried it!
Ego aside - he knows his shit about the square. So I asked him.

What he told me was worse than the twat dressed as a hawk, that’s quite funny, it’s a twat with a hawk. Nearly shat myself. He told me not to worry coz Monday was his day off.
I looked it up, and he’s right. Shit, man. A real hawk, and it’s been going on for years. Mind you - till I got into this whole Bird Flu / Ken thing, I hadn’t been to the Square for a while. Gotta think on this one… it sucks. Big time.
Course TPs are allowed to hang out on the Square - that’s why they’re TPs - so Hawkboy leaves ‘em alone. As for the other poor scrawny fuckers - no wonder the Square’s a desert these days. Such a shame. Used to be an ace place to hang out!

The Good Ol’ Days!

So - movin’ nest tomorrow - see ya Hayes. Got to do the rounds with the boys and say my goodbyes. This pigeon’s got stuff to do!

Looks like the word's out and humans are starting to join in with my 'Give Pigeons A Chance' campaign. Ye fuckin' ha. At last!
Found this: Save The Trafalgar Square Pigeons
The STTSP - to be frank, preferred their first name - The Pigeon Alliance - never mind. Course I got in touch and said I'm so up for it - me and all my mates.
"Our priority is the prevention of suffering." Fuckin' heroes.

Sent them this too - my solution. Maybe they'll go for it and help out?
So - Mr Roger Highfield - so called Telegraph 'Science' Editor - go back to fuckin' school coz stories like these are a load of old bollocks. We pigeons do not get colds, sniffles, sore throats, headaches, coughs or anything like that. Ever!

Also, got on with my own petition. If I do one, and they do one, and we both send it to Ken - he can't fucking ignore us any more!
"Give Pigeons A Chance" Petition

Do it. Sign up NOW and join the fight.