Sorry for not posting - RSI got the better of me - see post below - so I slipped off for a couple of day’s to a Pigeon retreat in the country.

This is it:

Lovely it was. Surrounded by palm trees. Just chilled out really. Did some thinking. Well, frankly, did lots of thinking - fuck all else to do. Think and eat and fly around a bit. Fly around a bit, then eat, then think a bit more. Feel lots better for it tho and getting back in the swing of London ready for Christmas. Mart is wetting his feathers about it all. Best bit about Christmas in London is it’s top throwaway season.

Here’s Simon tucking into a bit of Christmas pud no less.

All a bit much in the end and he chucked up shortly after.

So - this got me thinking - Brian Pigeon’s Guide To London - not done that for a while, so how about I shift focus from ledges to food? London’s Best Throwaways?

“Any pigeons out there thinking of visiting London - check out Pigeon Blog for the best free eats in town. Most romantic, best for all the family, lowest carbs, best Indian, best Chinese…” What do you think?

It’s worth noting that most of London’s underground stations have ledges either on or near them, and all offer great views of the streams of tourists going in and out. ‘Shit or Miss’ fun is guaranteed.

This particular example is at Sloane Square near London’s fashionable King’s Road, and was sent to me by Dan. Cheers, Dan!

A great site to check out if you want to see what goes on underground is Going Underground by the mighty Annie Mole.

Also, I was wondering, has anyone anywhere started building an ark yet? If you have, can you let me know? If you’re thinking of applying the ‘two-by-two’ rule, I’d like to put myself forward as one of the two pigeons?  Maybe bring Mart along as the second? What do you think? Let me know.

Another great thing about London is the river. It’s big and wet and surrounded by some fine ledges. Simple to use and fun for all the family.

Here’s Mart doing what he called his ‘merry dance’ on one down near Tower Bridge - bit of a schlep but worth it for the bridge.

Twat.

And here’s Ed being all a bit pensive on one down Strand on the Green:

Ed fancies himself as a bit of a thinker.

Ok - so this is George demonstrating another of London’s classic ledges - more of a chimney really - but still great to hang out on.

George looking a bit windswept demonstrating the ‘Pottery Ledge’.

Just don’t do it in Winter. If the homeowner’s got a fire going there’s a strong chance you might burn your arse feathers off. Never a good look, especially on a pigeon.

Another bonus of the Pottery Ledge is it’s normally only big enough for one so, if you’re on the pull, it’s great for a spot of bird watching.

This one’s always a winner with the tourists - The Antiquety Ledge - and London has a wide variety of statues offering some of the finest antiquety ledges in the world.

Like this one - the statue of the amputee fat bird in Trafalgar Square:

A word of warning though - when landing on antiquety ledges, be careful of the spikes. A fairly massive pain in the arse if you land on one and it lasts for ages.

Here’s another view of some of the boys enjoying the view from the lady’s arse:

Obviously these pictures were taken a ages ago - when the sun was shining.

What is with all this fucking rain? Jesus. Hell for the London pigeon. Life sucks when it rains as much as this. Soggy throwaways apart from anything else. Nightmare.

As for flying in a storm - forget it. Pal of Dougs got struck by lightning the other day - poor bastard.

Not quite the shelter of a window ledge, but often with great views, there’s always the rooftop ledge.

Best just for a stop off rather than an overnightdue to the high winds. Getting blown off during a bit of shuteye is not only embarassing, it can be quite confusing.

Here are a couple of examples of London’s rooftop ledges. This particular one being on Pratt Street in Camden, North London:

The ’standard flat’.

Again, this is ususally found on council blocks. What’s always quite a good laugh is finding one with one of these on it:

A satellite dish.

It’s what makes pictures come out of a television, unless you walk or fly backwards and forwards in front of it. Fucking funny. Even better, do it a little bit everyday until a man in a van from Sky turns up. Then fuck off to the rooftop next door and watch him trying to fix it.

The best thing about rooftops in Camden is they are close to Camden Market. If you want a decent throwaway or fancy shitting on some goths - Camden Market on a Saturday and Sunday is the place to be.

Here’s another ’standard flat’ in Camden:

This one’s near Georgiana Street.

Coz Camden used to be quite a shit place to live there’s loads of council houses and therefore LOADS of standard flat rooftops. Trouble is though, what you gain in the flat roof you loose in the window ledge.

London’s all about compromise, especially for a pigeon.

These two are in the North London area.

The ‘alternative’ ledge:

A brightly coloured low based ledge usually found on council blocks.

And this is a good example of ‘the protective ledge’:

Found on buildings mainly used for corporate occupancy - i.e. those with a shop downstairs where the owners tend not to use the upper floors.

As with this example, there are some that exist with an upper ledge - totally protected and unseen.

This particular ledge is located in Kings Cross. Not so good night, particularly with young squabs, but centrally located and within easy access of the West End.

Right - getting going on a Pigeon’s Guide to London - by a pigeon for the pigeons - everything a pigeon needs to know when visiting London - see post below - thought I’d start with something simple - London’s Best Ledges.

A pigeon likes nothing better than to chill and enjoy a view. Ok - so we get views when we fly, but coz the focus is on the flying, we generally miss out on the enjoying it bit.

So here’s one. Pottery Lane in London’s fashionable Notting Hill.

This is Phil enjoying a bit of peace and quiet.

Looks like Phil may have been there a while…

There are two good things about this particular ledge - first off it’s right near Holland Park. A lovely spot and the nuts for a Sunday cruise. Second - it’s a boarded up window. Boarded up windows are great coz it means you can chill at your leasure.

Other ledges with boarded up windows to try could be this:

The Frampton Arms in Hackney.

For details of The Frampton Arms and a whole selection of other private ledges to hang out on around London - go to derelictlondon.com.

Be warned though - it’s worth checking out your selected ledge before dragging the family down there. Properties are moving fast in London these days and it may have already been turned into a selection of wanky apartments with no ledges whatsover and 24/7 hawk patrol.

If you spot any other great ledges, derelict or otherwise - send them to me - brianpigeon AT gmail DOT com.

Right - decided to give Pigeon Blog a bit of purpose.

Met some dude called Brummy Pete:

This is Brummy Pete looking all lost and shitting himself in Trafalgar Square.

Brummy Pete flew all the way down from Birmingham for a day trip in the Smoke, no fucking clue where to go or what to do.

Got me thinking - with all the long haul flyers everywhere these days, more and more pigeons are heading to London. Day trips, mini-breaks, sabbaticals, they’re all at it - then, when they get here, there’s no info anywhere telling them where to go or what to do - best places to hang out, make pals, get some kip, pick up the ladies, tuck into a fine throwaway, get pissed, play ‘Shit or Miss’ etc.

So, I’m gonna do it - ‘Brian Pigeon’s Guide to London’.

By a pigeon for the pigeon. Everything a pigeon needs to know when travelling to London.

For starters, how about Best Places To Make New Pals. Obviously Trafalgar Square rocks, but you’ve got to be brave. Can be a bit daunting for an out-of-towner like Brummy Pete.

Best thing to do is come on a Thursday. Thursdays are good. Thursdays are flying practice with Wing Commander P.R. Geon. There are beginners lessons and everything. Not so good for pulling though coz everyone’s a bit focussed.

Took this last Thursday. This is a bunch of dudes learning to fly in formation:

And this is Norma putting in a bit of landing practice. Norma’s from Teddington. She rocks up every Thursday trying to get to grips with the parallel feet manoeuvre:

Tricky stuff. That’s Wing Commander P.R. Geon bottom right, running for cover.

Top day out. Right laugh too.

Anyone else out there got ideas for great places to hang out, eat, shit, or whatever for a pigeon new to London, email them to me - brianpigeon AT gmail DOT com.