A Pigeon That Looks Like…
So fast, he blurs himself.
Dedicated to my pal Murray who is winging it down at Wimbledon right now, which is a shame seeing as it looks like it’s about to piss it down.
A Pigeon That Looks Like…
Chris Martin after getting a right tasty ‘Step forward all those of you with an award, not so fast Coldplay’ at the BRITs last night.
Not surprised. What little I know about music, and that isn’t very much, tells me Coldplay really aren’t very good.
In fact, they’re that bad, they can’t even give it away. Jesus.
A Pigeon That Looks Like…
Andy Murray, in honour of Murray – see post.
A Pigeon That Looks Like…
Russell: “I say, Pretty Lady, won’t you accompany me forthwith to my feathery bedchamber and lie with me a while?”
Pretty Lady: “Not right now, thanks.”
Russell: “But, Pretty Lady, please simply view my extended chest of plenty and imagine what it might feel like to touch it?”
Pretty Lady: “If it’s all the same to you, I’d rather not…”
Russell: “Pretty Lady, oh how I admire your strength of will in resisting such powerful temptation and, in my heart, I wish there were more like you able to fight their fiery desires…. That’s it, let me chase you…”
Pretty Lady: “Look, let’s get one thing straight – I am not remotely tempted, nor am I even the slightest bit attracted to you. In fact, I’d go as far as to say you repulse me. Now fuck off and leave me alone.”
Russell: “Ok all you lovely ladies out there, here I am, and I’m all yours…
…Ladies…? Anyone…?”
Two Pigeons Who Look Like…
You guessed it:
Ken, stressed to fuck as he rightly should be and, of course:
Spot on this one I reckon. It’s actually a pal called Mike who was a little concerned when I asked if I could use his image in case people thought he might be gay, which he isn’t. He said I could only use it if I stated clearly in the text that ‘he loves the hole’.
So – tomorrow’s the big day. No more comms from Boris, a generic email from Bri, and the usual spam from Ken. It’d better not be Ken or I’m going into hiding to bury my beak in the carpet of a disused local till I throw up.
All you Londoners out there, it’s up to you. You decide.
Ken Brian
…or Boris.
The fate of the London pigeon is in your hands.
