Top Ten Hobbies For Pigeons

Sorry for the earlier error. Accidentally stepped on ‘publish’ before it was finished. Twat. Also decided to go Top 10 hobbies for pigeons rather than Top 5. Too many good ones to ignore.

Cheers everyone for some great suggestions. Since posting about it I’ve not only been trying a few myself, I’ve been testing them out on some pals. Not all of them got it. A few actually said that they were quite happy standing around all day doing nothing. Fair enough. Anyway, here you go. My absolute favorite Top 10 (in no particular order).

  • Dove Bombing – where you find a random dove and dive bomb it. Arrogant fucks deserve it.
  • Stair (or Step) Hopping – a handy one in London with there being lots of them around. Also good for keeping fit. Could expand it to racing up them or doing it backwards? Could also knock out the stairs and just do some hopping.
  • Parrot Gliding – go to Richmond Park, find a parakeet, wait for it to take off, then hop on and see how long you can stay on for. I recommend ear plugs for this one though. They make a dreadful noise at the best of times. Imagine what they’d sound like with a pigeon on their back.
  • Cow / Horse Back Riding – as above, but on a cow or horse. Jump on and see how long you can stay there for. May be easier to sit on the head so you can hang onto an ear? Possibly even use it to steer? Could work?
  • Rambling – love this one. Dead simple. Go to somewhere you haven’t been before, preferably outside the M25, and just walk around a bit.
  • Mud Wrestling – a great one for this time of year when there’s plenty of it around. I can strongly recommend the banks of the River Thames at low tide.
  • Skating – a few of you suggested this one. This is something I’ve tried  few times. Bloody hard, especially on a busy organised rink like Somerset House. If it’s your first time, I’d suggest giving it a go on a quiet puddle somewhere. Get the hang of it first.
  • Put On A Play – doing some kind of public performance is always a winner not only for the pigeons taking part, but also for those watching, providing it’s good of course. Nothing worse than sitting through a bad one. If you’re interested, just be sure to join a group who know what they’re doing, take The Kentish Town Players for example. Here they are performing a battle scene from Shakespeare’s Richard III last year:

Impressive stuff.

  • Nearly there. Here’s one from Mart. I had to include because I said I would – Baking. He suggested, with Halloween round the corner, we could start with some gingerbread witches. Jesus.
  • Finally, and my personal fave, Nut Nicking – This is right up there for me. Nicking a squirrels nuts. Bound to piss them right off. Could also be adapted to Nut Nipping where you nip a squirrel in the actual nuts. Providing you get good purchase, this would piss them off even more:

“Awwww. Me nuts!”

October 17, 2012. Uncategorized.

15 Comments

  1. Peter Hore replied:

    I know you could only add the top ten, but I thought you might like to hear of a hobby some of your Essex cousins have adopted – motorcycle helmet tag. They come in at a 45 degree angle to a speeding motorcyclist and try to do a touch and go with their feet on their helmet. Apparently they get extra points even when they miss if they make the motorcyclist bang their head on the handlebars.

    If you get bored and fancy a day out in Essex, maybe you could fly up north and mention to them that the next time they try it on me, they’re going to get the biggest punch in the beak they’ve ever had. Meeting a low flying pigeon at 90mph certainly releases adrenalin – amongst other messier things!

    Thanks

    • pigeonblog replied:

      Jesus. Always knew those Essex pigeons were rough but that sounds mental to me.

    • happytrees123 replied:

      please follow me i have no followers (well4)

  2. Animalcouriers replied:

    Ha ha ha – it’s got to be the squirrel nuts for us!

    • pigeonblog replied:

      Me too. Anything that pisses off the squirrel has got to be a winner.

  3. Frankie the mankee mankstar* replied:

    You forgot , Riding the London choob bruv !

    Peace . .

    • pigeonblog replied:

      I did, but only because it’s more of an alternative mode of transport. Saying that, it would be a right laugh if a load of us did it at the same time!

  4. Extra, Extra | Londonist replied:

    [...] Pigeon took umbrage at our daily list of things to do being so human-centred, so here’s a list of pigeon activities.These dancers descended on St Christopher’s Place this morning for breast cancer charity [...]

  5. Christine Harmer replied:

    Liking the sound of all of the top 10 and the pic of Richard the 3rd last year, squirrel looked funny, let us know how it all goes (here the squirrels have the upper hand of the pigeons)………

    • pigeonblog replied:

      Really? How so? Not still practicing the kung-fu I hope…

  6. MG4646 replied:

    I need to train to achieve TRUE PUDDING!!!

  7. comtedescierges replied:

    Great blog and never fails to provide a good laugh. Squirrel picture on this post was also excellent.

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