You guessed it:

Ken, stressed to fuck as he rightly should be and, of course:

Brian Paddick.

Spot on this one I reckon. It’s actually a pal called Mike who was a little concerned when I asked if I could use his image in case people thought he might be gay, which he isn’t. He said I could only use it if I stated clearly in the text that ‘he loves the hole’.

So - tomorrow’s the big day. No more comms from Boris, a generic email from Bri, and the usual spam from Ken. It’d better not be Ken or I’m going into hiding to bury my beak in the carpet of a disused local till I throw up.

All you Londoners out there, it’s up to you. You decide.

Ken                                                               Brian

…or Boris.

The fate of the London pigeon is in your hands.