At long fucking last my arse has started to behave itself. Never again will I dice with death on a Chinese Takeaway from Slough - see post below. Ali apologised. I said it wasn’t his fault. Mental too as Mart was the one who’d tucked into the chicken. Should have been him struck down with a mortifying emptying of everything and anything. It’s all good now, apart from the obvious soreness which means the rear-end takeoff clench burns like fuck. Bit like how I should imagine it feels to sit on a tealight.

First thing tomorrow me and Mart are heading down to the coast. Remember Desperate Dan? The dude who got blown all the way from London to Brighton? Well, he’s been spotted again. Lost it completely, apparently, and is currently living the life of a hermit in a hole somewhere in the cliffs. Jesus.

Reckon it’s about time for a mercy mission. Course Mart thinks the whole scenario rocks and that rescuing him is ‘just the same as saving your street brother just like they do in the movies’, which was all well and good till he started going, ‘Yo bro’ and saying ‘man’ at the end of every sentence.

If you don’t know the story of desperate Dan - you’ll have to check out the posts below. Normally I would link to them but the guys at WordPress have re-designed their admin pages and it appears the ability to add links has gone down. Eh? Anyone out there know a short cut?

Thank fuck the shit situation’s stabalised though. Would have been one nightmare journey from hell if it hadn’t.

I’d have been all over the place in ‘Shit or Miss’. Could have been Mart’s lucky day.

Have to say, I can’t wait to get off this ledge. I’m sick of the site of it. No offense, Al.