Frank’s Nottingham Report
Frank got hold of this – an email from the STTSP:
“Dozens of pigeons, including young squabs (chicks), have spent a third day trapped without food or water in a deserted Nottingham building after a firm of architects placed netting over the broken windows the birds had been
using to access the buildings. An animal welfare group is now threatening to prosecute the firm if they fail to release the birds by noon tomorrow…”
Comes flying up to me, totally wetting himself. All up for a bit of on-the-spot reporting, he gets in touch with his pal, Rich. Rich lives above the Tropical Food Store in a place called Lenton, not far from Nottingham. They arrange to meet.
Bearing in mind Nottingham is a fuck of a long fly, and Frank’s not much of a flyer – fair play to him.
He sets off up the M1, gets to Nottingham, meets Rich in Market Square, and off they head.
First off, Frank forgets to take the address, so they fly around for hours, till they bump into Fat Annie, who points them in the right direction:
Fat Annie, pointing them in the right direction.
Finally, they get there…
Frank ‘on the front line’, taken by Rich.
Then they fly around for a bit… Nothing. Nada. Not a pigeon in sight. No pigeons anywhere. Totally empty.
Anyway, turns out Frank only read the first mail – and missed the update:
“Further to our recent email asking for your help to free dozens of pigeons trapped when contractors netted broken windows at a Nottingham building, we can tell you that the contractors returned to free the birds this morning -
ironically by breaking more windows!”
Good news for the pigeons, shit for Frank.
Anyway, turns out he had a top time and says ‘Nottingham rocks’.
Must go there sometime. Not.