Going Underground

Running late now so Mart suggested we take the tube. Obv not from Slough coz no tubes dare go that far. In fact, Slough is such a shithole they don’t even have photos of it on their website…

This got me thinking. Another pigeon myth I can blow out of the water.

Most people think we fly everywhere. Do we fuck. We take the tube same as everyone else.

Don’t believe me? Here’s the proof:

Pigeons on The Tube by Roger Highfield, Science Editor, Telegraph.

Route 79 (with a pic).

Going Underground – a report from May 15th 2003 from those in the know.

Of course, I’ll provide my own pigeon cam pics when I get the chance…

Before you do it check the travel info coz it’s a bit fuckin’ unreliable these days, to be frank – another issue for Ken…

A closed tube station in Wanstead – not that I ever go there. Not much happening in Wanstead.

So – here’s a message to any of you out of town pigeons doing the London thing – why fly when you can take the tube?
Here’s a few pointers:

• Look at the map and where you want to go and pick a colour that goes there. Piece of piss, and it’s free as fuck
• Try to stick to the green and yellow lines if you can – not so underground and therefore easier to fly on and off – also means you can avoid the escalators – killer on the toes. Don’t use red or black – just don’t
• When the train comes – mind the gap when you get on – don’t worry, they usually remind you anyway
• Hang near the door so it’s easy to get off – especially during rush hour (8am-9.30am, 5pm – 7pm)
• Try to get the same colour all the way. Changing can be a pain in the arse

To be honest, sometimes it’ll be less stressfull all round to get your wings going… see below for a tube at rush hour…

…but, fuck it, it’s a laugh.

Shit – got to go – we got pancakes waiting.